Self Worth and The Possibility Pages

Anita Adams: 00:00:05

Welcome to the joyful journey podcast. If

Anita Adams: 00:00:08

you're uncertain about what you really want or unsure how to be

Anita Adams: 00:00:12

a force or good, you know this world craves, then this is the

Anita Adams: 00:00:16

show for you. I'm Anita Adams, your host and guide to finding

Anita Adams: 00:00:21

clarity and creating a life you love. Let's tap into our inner

Anita Adams: 00:00:26

wisdom, access our highest self and unleash joy. As we raise our

Anita Adams: 00:00:32

vibration, we heighten the collective consciousness and

Anita Adams: 00:00:35

that, my friends, is the joyful journey. Let's dive in a joyful

Anita Adams: 00:00:44

journey. Here's Anita Adams here, your host of the joyful

Anita Adams: 00:00:47

journey podcast and today, I want to talk about worthiness

Anita Adams: 00:00:50

and how to amp up your self love and sense of self worth. So you

Anita Adams: 00:00:55

can create a life you absolutely love. I decided this would be a

Anita Adams: 00:01:00

great topic for the show after binging on the popular TV

Anita Adams: 00:01:04

series, Ted lasso. Are you familiar with this TV show? It's

Anita Adams: 00:01:08

about an American coach who goes to London to manage a British

Anita Adams: 00:01:12

soccer team. What he lacks in knowledge he makes up for an

Anita Adams: 00:01:16

optimism, determination and biscuits. It's an absolutely

Anita Adams: 00:01:21

delightful show, full of beautiful life lessons. And it's

Anita Adams: 00:01:26

a breath of fresh air from all the crime dramas and violence

Anita Adams: 00:01:29

that seemed to dominate the airways. There is one character,

Anita Adams: 00:01:33

however, whose behavior in season two I find disturbing.

Anita Adams: 00:01:39

The character I'm referring to is Coach Nate, without giving

Anita Adams: 00:01:43

anything away for those who haven't watched the show yet. In

Anita Adams: 00:01:46

season two, we see that coach Nate's sense of self worth

Anita Adams: 00:01:51

borders on self loathing. Coach Nate is consumed by his need for

Anita Adams: 00:01:56

recognition and constantly scrolls social media to read

Anita Adams: 00:02:00

what people are saying about him. He is easily elated when he

Anita Adams: 00:02:05

receives praise, and quickly turns to self loathing when he

Anita Adams: 00:02:09

reads anything less kind. And one seem after scrolling through

Anita Adams: 00:02:14

a series of tweets that praise His work. One unknown tweeter

Anita Adams: 00:02:19

calls him a loser. Nate tosses his mobile and spits at his

Anita Adams: 00:02:24

reflection in the mirror. This happens twice in the season. And

Anita Adams: 00:02:29

each time It unsettles me, and I feel a sharp pain in my heart.

Anita Adams: 00:02:34

As I'm reminded of the person I once was. Other people's

Anita Adams: 00:02:40

opinions mattered way more than they should have. And most of my

Anita Adams: 00:02:44

decisions were based on what I thought I should do to get the

Anita Adams: 00:02:48

approval or recognition I so desperately wanted. I'd revel in

Anita Adams: 00:02:53

the praise and crumble at anything less kind. I didn't

Anita Adams: 00:02:57

spit at my own reflection, but I'd often look in the mirror and

Anita Adams: 00:03:01

cry, or say unkind things to myself. I didn't love the woman

Anita Adams: 00:03:06

looking back at me, and had a very low sense of my own

Anita Adams: 00:03:10

worthiness. The one thing I did possess though, was a belief

Anita Adams: 00:03:15

that I could change and grow into someone I could love. I

Anita Adams: 00:03:20

didn't know how to do that exactly, but I threw myself at

Anita Adams: 00:03:23

the problem anyway. I went to counseling, enrolled in personal

Anita Adams: 00:03:27

growth workshops, and consumed one self help book after

Anita Adams: 00:03:31

another. My favorite hangout in my 20s and early 30s was Banyan

Anita Adams: 00:03:37

books in Vancouver. This bookstore is devoted exclusively

Anita Adams: 00:03:42

to personal and spiritual growth. I would spend hours in

Anita Adams: 00:03:46

this cozy shop where hints of lavender or peppermint or some

Anita Adams: 00:03:49

other musty scent hung in the air. I discovered some amazing

Anita Adams: 00:03:54

books here, books that became my closest companions, the prophet

Anita Adams: 00:03:59

by Kahlil Gibran, The Alchemist by Paulo coho. And the artists

Anita Adams: 00:04:06

way by Julia Cameron was Julia Cameron's morning pages in the

Anita Adams: 00:04:11

artists way that helped me through some of my most

Anita Adams: 00:04:13

challenging and darkest days. If you're unfamiliar, the mourning

Anita Adams: 00:04:18

pages is a simple practice of writing three pages longhand

Anita Adams: 00:04:22

upon waking up or soon thereafter. The writing is meant

Anita Adams: 00:04:27

to be stream of consciousness, no thinking, planning or

Anita Adams: 00:04:30

editing. In fact, it's recommended that you don't even

Anita Adams: 00:04:33

read what you've written. This exercise is simply meant to

Anita Adams: 00:04:37

clear the gunk out of your head so you can approach the rest of

Anita Adams: 00:04:41

the day with more clarity. This daily ritual helped flush out

Anita Adams: 00:04:48

and better understand my feelings. It also lighten the

Anita Adams: 00:04:52

load some by simply creating the space for self expression and

Anita Adams: 00:04:56

letting out some of the things I didn't know how to share with

Anita Adams: 00:04:59

others. There is definitely great value in doing that.

Anita Adams: 00:05:04

My Love and Respect for self, however, was growing at a

Anita Adams: 00:05:09

snail's pace. The problem was, what I mostly wrote about were

Anita Adams: 00:05:15

feelings of inadequacy. I focused on the things I didn't

Anita Adams: 00:05:19

love about me and my life, the things that were bringing me

Anita Adams: 00:05:22

down the things I didn't have and wanted. I suspect in some

Anita Adams: 00:05:28

ways, I was reinforcing my not enoughness by constantly writing

Anita Adams: 00:05:34

about it. I would write things like, I feel empty. I wish I was

Anita Adams: 00:05:41

more talented. I wish I was more like Gina. Gina was this

Anita Adams: 00:05:47

powerhouse woman I knew from my acting class. That was the dream

Anita Adams: 00:05:51

back then to be an actress. Gina would walk into a room and all

Anita Adams: 00:05:57

heads would turn, she would do a scene and have everyone riveted.

Anita Adams: 00:06:02

All eyes were on her all the time. It's not that she was the

Anita Adams: 00:06:07

most beautiful person in the room. She just knew who she was

Anita Adams: 00:06:11

and oozed this radiant confidence. It was a confidence

Anita Adams: 00:06:16

I desperately wanted. I thought Gina was the cat's meow. And in

Anita Adams: 00:06:23

comparison, I felt like I was the dog's breakfast. As I wanted

Anita Adams: 00:06:28

to be like Gina, I started writing about all the

Anita Adams: 00:06:31

characteristics and qualities about her that I admired my

Anita Adams: 00:06:36

writing but then inevitably, take a turn towards self pity

Anita Adams: 00:06:41

because I was clearly nothing like her. Then one day while

Anita Adams: 00:06:45

hanging out at Banyan books, I discovered a new author, Louise

Anita Adams: 00:06:51

Hay and her book, you can heal your life. This sounded like

Anita Adams: 00:06:57

something I needed. A few Louise key philosophies hit a chord.

Anita Adams: 00:07:04

Things like every thought we think is creating our future. A

Anita Adams: 00:07:10

thought can be changed. And everyone suffers from the belief

Anita Adams: 00:07:16

that I'm not good enough. What I remember thinking while sitting

Anita Adams: 00:07:21

on the floor and Banyan books, does Gina think she's not good

Anita Adams: 00:07:25

enough. I never found the courage to ask her. However,

Anita Adams: 00:07:29

that did spark some curiosity. And I have asked countless

Anita Adams: 00:07:33

others over the years, all of whom have confirmed that yes, at

Anita Adams: 00:07:37

some point on their journey, they have experienced feelings

Anita Adams: 00:07:41

of inadequacy. Even the seemingly most confident people

Anita Adams: 00:07:45

have expressed these feelings, and often still do particularly

Anita Adams: 00:07:50

when venturing down a new path. With this idea that our thoughts

Anita Adams: 00:07:56

shape our future, my morning pages began to morph into what I

Anita Adams: 00:08:01

now call my possibility pages. And that's when things began to

Anita Adams: 00:08:06

really change quickly. I already identified the qualities that I

Anita Adams: 00:08:11

admired in Gina. Now instead of writing in my morning pages

Anita Adams: 00:08:16

about her, I wrote in my possibility pages about a future

Anita Adams: 00:08:22

version of me who possesses those qualities. And I wrote in

Anita Adams: 00:08:27

the present tense using I am statements. I took it one step

Anita Adams: 00:08:31

further and started describing my future life. Again in the

Anita Adams: 00:08:36

present tense as if I was already living that life. And

Anita Adams: 00:08:41

something pretty miraculous began to happen. My competence

Anita Adams: 00:08:46

grew, my sense of self worth expanded, and opportunities

Anita Adams: 00:08:51

began to show up where I could step into being the person I

Anita Adams: 00:08:56

wrote about this new practice 10 ext my personal growth. Similar

Anita Adams: 00:09:04

to the morning pages, the possibility pages is a daily

Anita Adams: 00:09:08

writing stream of consciousness exercise, however, this flowing

Anita Adams: 00:09:13

river of consciousness is gently guided by asking yourself two

Anita Adams: 00:09:17

key questions. Who do I want to be? And what life do I want to

Anita Adams: 00:09:23

live? Then allow the pen the flow, and I do recommend doing

Anita Adams: 00:09:28

this longhand, and write about that future version of you in

Anita Adams: 00:09:32

the present tense using I am statements as if you were

Anita Adams: 00:09:36

already that person living that life. It doesn't have to be

Anita Adams: 00:09:39

three pages long. It could be one short paragraph that takes

Anita Adams: 00:09:44

you three minutes to write.

Anita Adams: 00:09:47

Identify the character traits and qualities you want to

Anita Adams: 00:09:50

possess and describe how you look and feel. The things you do

Anita Adams: 00:09:55

and the people you are with. get as specific as possible. With

Anita Adams: 00:10:00

the details of your life and who you want to be, if you write

Anita Adams: 00:10:04

about this future version of you every morning, soon, you will

Anita Adams: 00:10:08

begin to make choices that are aligned with that person you

Anita Adams: 00:10:13

want to become in that life you want to live. Life is full of

Anita Adams: 00:10:17

choices. And when you weren't clear about who you want to be

Anita Adams: 00:10:21

in that life, you want to lead and you believe in yourself and

Anita Adams: 00:10:25

the possibilities, you begin to make choices to step into the

Anita Adams: 00:10:30

beingness of that person and that life. Louise Hay was

Anita Adams: 00:10:36

absolutely right. Your thoughts do create your future. When you

Anita Adams: 00:10:42

get intentional with your thoughts and write them that

Anita Adams: 00:10:45

down. You can map out a future to anywhere you want. You can't

Anita Adams: 00:10:50

just do it once though, and tuck it away like some new year's

Anita Adams: 00:10:53

resolution. This is an everyday thing until you reprogram your

Anita Adams: 00:10:59

beliefs and start creating the future you want. The possibility

Anita Adams: 00:11:04

pages is a powerful tool that you can start doing right now by

Anita Adams: 00:11:09

simply investing a few minutes of time every day to write about

Anita Adams: 00:11:13

a future version of you and your life that you want to bring into

Anita Adams: 00:11:18

existence. This is how you can go from feelings of low self

Anita Adams: 00:11:23

worth to feelings of self love and respect. And make no mistake

Anita Adams: 00:11:27

creating a life you absolutely love and one that is full of joy

Anita Adams: 00:11:31

starts by loving yourself. First, you are worthy of that

Anita Adams: 00:11:36

time investment. Try doing the possibility pages for just 30

Anita Adams: 00:11:41

days and see how things begin to shift for you. It's an

Anita Adams: 00:11:46

incredibly powerful tool that has the ability to massively

Anita Adams: 00:11:51

transform your life. regardless of your level of self love and

Anita Adams: 00:11:55

competence. This is a tool anyone can use to create big

Anita Adams: 00:11:59

shifts. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this practice.

Anita Adams: 00:12:04

You can connect with me and other like minded souls in a

Anita Adams: 00:12:07

private Facebook group that I've called the joyful journeyer or

Anita Adams: 00:12:12

feel free to email me privately. My details are in the show

Anita Adams: 00:12:15

notes. Thanks for tuning in joyful journeyer and we'll catch

Anita Adams: 00:12:19

you next time. Thank you for joining us today on the joyful

Anita Adams: 00:12:22

journey podcast. If anything resonated with you, please visit

Anita Adams: 00:12:26

our website at joyful inspired living.com Sign up to receive a

Anita Adams: 00:12:32

free download of our three guiding principles to inner

Anita Adams: 00:12:35

wisdom and become a member of the joyful inspired living

Anita Adams: 00:12:38

community. For a deeper spiritual dive. Check out our

Anita Adams: 00:12:42

retreats we offer both in person retreats on beautiful Bowen

Anita Adams: 00:12:46

Island in British Columbia, as well as online retreats that you

Anita Adams: 00:12:50

can do from the comfort of your own home. And finally, if you

Anita Adams: 00:12:54

liked our show, please leave a review so more people can find

Anita Adams: 00:12:57

it and learn how to access their highest self and together will

Anita Adams: 00:13:01

raise the collective consciousness