Identifying and Managing Triggers

Anita Adams: 00:00:04

Welcome to the joyful journey podcast. If you're looking for more clarity in your life, clarity of purpose or how to activate that purpose, and you are someone who wants to operate from your highest self to be a force for good, you know this world craves, then this is the show for you. I'm Anita Adams, your host and guide to finding clarity and creating a life you love. Let's tap into our inner wisdom, access our highest self, and unleash joy. As we do this, we raise our vibration and heightened the collective consciousness. And that my friend, is the joyful journey. Let's dive in. Hey, joyful journey are Anita Adams here your host and today we are going to talk about emotional triggers, and how they play an important role in helping us to understand ourselves better. When we understand what triggers us and why we are able to make conscious choices that are aligned with our higher self. Those choices ultimately lead to a more joyful life. Paying attention to the emotions that stir within is part of our awakening journey. You can think of triggers like little mirrors that reflect back to us what we need to learn about ourselves to grow, to move past blocks that are potentially keeping us stuck. When someone does something that upsets us, it's because we either see a piece of ourselves in that person a quality about ourselves that we do not like this often happens with family members. Or we are reminded of a time when something happened that caused us pain. Both offer opportunities for us to look at the emotional trigger, and to pull it apart so we can better understand who we are, and what is potentially keeping us stuck in pain. Let's say for example, Fred, a colleague at work dismisses an idea that you shared at a staff meeting, and you find yourself feeling really angry at Fred. As soon as you notice a strong emotion, your job is to simply ask yourself why your job is not to analyze Fred, as tempting as that may be, no, your job is to look inward and ask Why Why am I so angry that Fred didn't like my idea, you might realize that the dismissal of your idea made you feel unintelligent, which then reaffirms a belief you hold about yourself that you aren't smart enough or worthy enough. It may also remind you of an experience or experiences in the past when you were made to feel small. Either way, this perceived dismissal from your colleague brings up a pain body for you, and you then react to the situation from that place of pain. And your reaction could then cause you or others more damage. When you recognize a trigger for what it is, you can then step back from the motion and then make a choice on how to respond. There is tremendous power that comes from mastering this skill.

Anita Adams: 00:03:36

So what does that look like stepping back from an emotional trigger? Let's explore this a bit. You feel dismissed by Fred at the staff meeting? And that makes you steaming mad. First notice the emotion. Hmm. Isn't that interesting that this comment made me feel this way. Why do I feel this way? Is that because my dad used to tell me I was stupid. Yeah, yeah, Fred's dismissal definitely brings up old beliefs and fears that I'm not smart, which makes me feel small and insignificant. Hmm, that's interesting. All right, I realize I've simplified the process of looking inward and sometimes it will take some deep digging to an earth the root of the trigger. You will on Earth though, if you take the time to look inward and explore why something upsets you. I also want you to understand that when you recognize a trigger and then pull it apart like this, the words and actions said and done by others lose their power over you. This is really important. You do not want to be controlled by your triggers and the old And the way for them to loosen their grip on you is by examining them when they happen. If you've taken the time to pull the trigger apart, the next time someone says or does something similar, you more quickly recognize it as a trigger, and it has less of an impact on you. Soon the trigger no longer becomes a trigger, they are just word said. And you can decide if the person who said those words said them with an intent to hurt, in which case, you can address that. Or you might recognize that it's time to remove that person from your life, if that's an option. Or you may discover that you misinterpreted the words and actions of the person who triggered you. To go back to Fred, it's possible, he didn't think you had a bad idea at all. He was just excited about another idea that he had and he wanted to share from his perspective he was adding to the conversation by contributing his ideas. What's going on with the other person is completely irrelevant, though. What is ours to do is to pay attention to the emotions that stir within to get curious about them and ask why does that bother me? Why do I feel triggered? This is about knowing yourself. And those triggers we experience are great indicators that there is something under the surface that needs to be explored. Without that awareness, we are at the mercy of our triggers. With awareness, we begin to have the possibility of making different choices about what we do when triggered. Typically, when we are triggered by something someone says or does, we focus on the person and the remark as the source of danger. But the real threat is what we carry inside. Our triggers evoke powerful chains of emotions and memories usually tracing back to our childhood. Our triggers may be birthed in the common traumas of growing up such as not feeling valued by a parent, being the youngest child who was left out, being held back in school being rejected by peers, or the impact of an emotionally absent parent. For others. The chain leads to more dramatic woundings, such as the death of a family member divorce, a traumatic accident, alcoholism and family, emotional or physical abuse, or the impact of oppression on members of marginalized groups.