Breaking Through the Prison of Dysfunctional Stories
In today’s episode, I’m excited to introduce you to Winston Yeung. Winston is the founder of VoiceStory, a non-profit organization that is creating social connections, facilitating personal healing, and promoting community building. You can learn more about Winston, his organization, and how to connect with him below.
When I first heard Winston’s personal story that led him to start his non-profit, I recognized he was someone who had something of great value to offer the world and I wanted him for our show. He has broken through the prison of dysfunctional stories by learning to listen to his inner wisdom, and by embracing the darkness so he can move into the light.
Winston’s raw and real stories are relatable and leave us feeling that we too can get past the prison guard we created of our own self-imposed cell.
Here are some highlights from this episode:
- Suppressing our emotions
- The power of stories created from past trauma
- Formulating negative stories about who you are and what that triggers
- The importance of embracing the dark as well as the light
- Compassion vs love - coming from a place of striving to understand
- Being seen by others AND yourself
- The impact of wearing a persona that is not true to who you are
- Questions to ask yourself: “WHAT do I want and WHY do I want it so bad.”
- Understanding a true want and where it comes from.
- Fighting and undoing the conditioning
- Learning to “follow the nudges” that guide you to your best day, your best life
- Understand all of us are the same
About our Guest: Winston Yeung
Hi Joyful Journeyers,
I’m a guide.
I guide people, like yourself, through love, life & work.
In my past, I chased after fame, money, and status believing that these things would make me “somebody” in this world. I reached for the stars, sat among them, and eventually fell from grace.
I was a prisoner to the dysfunctional stories I created, lost in the land of the illusion of my own design. It took many years but I eventually walked out of my prison and am now living a life with purpose aligned with spirit, body, and mind. The lessons and tests I experienced along my journey are where my insight, empathy, compassion, and understanding are forged from. I see past the stories that people naturally share and guide them to where the real story is, that part of themselves they want to reveal but are not sure of the way.
I founded the VoiceStory Foundation, a non-profit organization that is creating social connections, facilitating personal healing, and promoting community building. This is done through the speaking platform – VoiceStory Live, educational workshops, mastermind, mentorship, and coaching to develop an individual’s ability to embrace and share their unique stories.
Regards,
Winston Yeung
Story Architect
How to connect with Winston Yeung:
email: winston@voicestory.ca
website: www.voicestory.ca
book a call to connect: https://calendly.com/winstonyeung/15
See video recordings of the past speakers at VoiceStory, visit and Subscribe to https://www.youtube.com/voicestory
Join the VoiceStory community and be part of the conversation at https://www.facebook.com/groups/voicestory
Thanks for listening!
If you want to learn more about what I teach around finding clarity and creating a life you love full of purpose, passion, and joy, I encourage you to join our community at Joyful Inspired Living. Here’s the link: http://www.joyfuljourney.ca/
About your host:
I’m your host, Anita Adams, an award-winning leader and the founder of Joyful Inspired Living, an organization dedicated to teaching people how to access their highest most authentic selves so they can find clarity and create a life of purpose, passion, and joy. In addition to hosting the Joyful Journey Podcast, I offer retreats, both live and online, and private coaching programs to further guide my clients on their journey to their highest selves.
Leave us a review
We truly appreciate your ratings and reviews, which help others find us so we can reach more people with our message and ultimately bring more joy into the world. If you have a minute, an honest review on iTunes goes a long way! Thank You!!
Subscribe to the podcast
If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast app on your mobile device.
Other ways to connect with me:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/anitaadams604/?hl=en
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/joyfulinspiredLiving
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/anitaadamsyvr/
Email - anita@joyfulinspiredliving.com
Leave us a review
We appreciate every bit of feedback to make this a value-adding part of your day. Ratings and reviews from our listeners not only help us improve, but also help others find us in their podcast app. If you have a minute, an honest review on iTunes goes a long way! Thank You!!
Transcript
Welcome to the joyful journey podcast. If
Anita Adams:you're uncertain about what you really want or unsure how to be
Anita Adams:a force for good, you know this world craves, then this is the
Anita Adams:show for you. I'm Anita Adams, your host and guide to finding
Anita Adams:clarity and creating a life you love. Let's tap into our inner
Anita Adams:wisdom, access our highest self and unleash joy. As we raise our
Anita Adams:vibration, we heighten the collective consciousness and
Anita Adams:that, my friends, is the joyful journey. Let's dive in.
Anita Adams:Hey, joyful journey errs, Anita Adams here, your host, and I'm
Anita Adams:so excited to bring an interview with my friend Winston Young.
Anita Adams:Hey, Winston, how's it going?
Unknown:Doing great, Anita, thanks for having me.
Anita Adams:Well, thanks again for being a part of this. So
Anita Adams:joyful journey. Here's let me tell you a little bit more about
Anita Adams:Winston. Winston is the founder of a really cool organization
Anita Adams:called Voice story, an initiative that was designed to
Anita Adams:tackle the issue of so social isolation that is prevalent in
Anita Adams:today's society, which is caused by things like working remotely,
Anita Adams:our addiction to mobile devices, and all the time we're spending
Anita Adams:on social media. And that lack of spaces which promotes deeper
Anita Adams:connection, and conversations. And of course, COVID-19 has not
Anita Adams:helped any it's in fact intensified that sense of social
Anita Adams:isolation. When I learned Winston's personal story that
Anita Adams:led him to start voice story. I was intrigued and understood
Anita Adams:that Winston was someone who needed to be on the joyful
Anita Adams:journey podcast, he is someone who has learned how to tap into
Anita Adams:his own inner wisdom and listen to it, which guided him out of
Anita Adams:the dark and into the light. And now he's helping so many other
Anita Adams:people do the same. And I believe his story is going to
Anita Adams:resonate with many of you today. So I'm grateful for you to be
Anita Adams:here with us, Winston, thank you again for making time for this.
Anita Adams:And let's dive in. So when I, I was doing a little bit more
Anita Adams:research on you. And I found something you wrote was on
Anita Adams:LinkedIn. And I just want to, I want to start there, because I
Anita Adams:thought this was it really captured my interest. You said,
Anita Adams:I was a prisoner to the dysfunctional stories I created
Anita Adams:last in the Land of Illusion of my own design, it took many
Anita Adams:years, but eventually I walked out of my prison. And I'm now
Anita Adams:living a life aligned with spirit, body and mind while you
Anita Adams:pack a lot of punch into those two sentences. And you know, I
Anita Adams:believe that there are a lot of people that have been there or
Anita Adams:are currently in that position, a prisoner of dysfunctional
Anita Adams:stories that that they've created that we've created, lost
Anita Adams:in an illusion. So I want you to talk a little bit about that I
Anita Adams:want first there's two things, I want to know what it what are
Anita Adams:the stories that you told yourself that kept you feeling
Anita Adams:like a prisoner if you're willing to share? And I think
Anita Adams:perhaps the more important question is, what happened to
Anita Adams:break you free?
Winston Yeung:I hope we have enough time to, to cover all
Winston Yeung:that. When I was very unaware of I call it the conditioning that
Winston Yeung:was placed upon me. And many people, I would say the majority
Winston Yeung:of the population on the planet are not aware of that, because
Winston Yeung:we were just raised and we put we are the way we are. And we
Winston Yeung:never question it. So I grew up in a culture where men don't
Winston Yeung:express men don't share their feelings. They don't show your
Winston Yeung:emotions, you have to figure it out. If you don't figure it out,
Winston Yeung:then I was always told like Well, are you a man or not? So
Winston Yeung:that, as you can probably see, sets up some certain really
Winston Yeung:weird ideas about how I'm supposed to act around this.
Winston Yeung:Every time I would show some accomplishments because my
Winston Yeung:parents were born from a generation where you you're not
Winston Yeung:supposed to be humble. You're not supposed to praise anybody
Winston Yeung:that never got any acknowledgement. So everything
Winston Yeung:that I did to get acknowledgement just compounded
Winston Yeung:on the fact that I never got it. So whatever I did was never good
Winston Yeung:enough. So I had to do better. Now from the work I've done with
Winston Yeung:people, I can see how that can go two ways. One, it just turned
Winston Yeung:You into someone that goes, I'm not good enough and you hide
Winston Yeung:from the world. Or you do what I did, where I hyper compensated,
Winston Yeung:and prove to the world that I belong, that I am somebody. So I
Winston Yeung:went from this person that was told you, you're not good
Winston Yeung:enough. No matter how hard you work, you can always do better.
Winston Yeung:And you can't tell anyone about how you're feeling. So you just
Winston Yeung:have to do this with a and present the world that
Winston Yeung:everything's a okay. And that just led me down a path of it
Winston Yeung:was unattainable for one. And it led me down a path where I
Winston Yeung:suppressed almost all emotion. And I'm just walking around like
Winston Yeung:a zombie. story that I tell all the time, when I was a kid, I
Winston Yeung:got 100% on a math test, ran home with a paper. I showed it
Winston Yeung:to my mom. She looked at it, and this goes, you could have done
Winston Yeung:better. Like, I don't understand I got a perfect mark. And she
Winston Yeung:goes, he missed the bonus question. Who else got the bonus
Winston Yeung:question, right. And that's, that's when I knew I had to go,
Winston Yeung:I had to go do something better to get the attention that
Winston Yeung:acknowledgement the love from from my parents. And these were
Winston Yeung:the stories that started forming. So without any type of
Winston Yeung:intervention from someone else, I started formulating stories
Winston Yeung:that I'm not good enough, no matter what I did isn't good
Winston Yeung:enough. No one wants me if no one wants me unless I give them
Winston Yeung:something worthy of their acknowledgement. So love became
Winston Yeung:transactional. I can't get love, I don't present something. But
Winston Yeung:everything I present isn't good enough. So I never get the love.
Winston Yeung:So I have to create something better. And that is a an
Winston Yeung:impossible task. So you just keep striving, higher and higher
Winston Yeung:and higher. But inside you or inside me was the story that no
Winston Yeung:matter what I did, even upon presentation, the Whisper is
Winston Yeung:it's not good, you could do better. Then that activates OCD
Winston Yeung:that activates perfectionism. All these other behaviors, which
Winston Yeung:now again, now that it just started dogpiling. So imagine
Winston Yeung:sitting there going the other story tell at the beginning is
Winston Yeung:oh I see attractive female want to engage with. And in seconds,
Winston Yeung:the internal dialogue, just, it doesn't
Unknown:stop me. It literally tore me apart where it's like,
Unknown:Who do you think you are? You're gonna go do this. Are you crazy?
Unknown:And then, because I have such a visual mindset, I could see,
Unknown:like, 1000s of scenarios this unfold. And my internal self
Unknown:worth just gets torn apart to a point where not only do I not
Unknown:engage, I want to leave. Because I'm just hurting so bad for
Unknown:myself. No one did anything. No one heard anything. No, I never
Unknown:said anything at all happened inside. And that's the power of
Unknown:that's the power of the stories that we create from the traumas
Unknown:that we experience. That's, that's how it all started. And
Unknown:that's I didn't understand it was a prison. It's like it's a
Unknown:prison. It's the prison guards. It's, it's an entire structure,
Unknown:that it's so perfect. Because we created it, every moment of
Unknown:every day that we live, we are we're not aware that we're
Unknown:protecting this cell that we're in.
Anita Adams:It's protection, isn't it? We want to protect
Anita Adams:ourselves.
Unknown:Or what are we protecting ourselves from?
Anita Adams:rejection, at fear of maybe humiliation,
Anita Adams:confirmation that we're not enough. And I feel like your
Anita Adams:story is so relatable, that we're, I've been in that that
Anita Adams:spot where countless times I feel like I'm finally you know,
Anita Adams:age 52 You know, I'm breaking through my prison, but I've been
Anita Adams:there. I've been there. I've stopped myself from moving
Anita Adams:forward with things because of this belief that I'm not enough
Anita Adams:that I'm not strong enough, smart enough. That was my
Anita Adams:Achilles heel. I'm not smart enough.
Unknown:And I believe everyone goes through that. So it's the
Unknown:guilt and shame So it's self worth low self worth low self
Unknown:esteem. Not understanding how to embrace and I want to put it
Unknown:embracing process these these dark emotions I don't want to
Unknown:say negative, they're just dark emotions because we're never
Unknown:taught how to. So we're constantly seeking pleasurable
Unknown:emotions. And then when these dark emotions come up we go oh,
Unknown:I don't know how to do that I don't like how this feels and
Unknown:and then that's where alcohol and substances to numb out what
Unknown:to escape from this and what I didn't understand is you can't
Unknown:you can't outrun it it'll build up and eventually you don't have
Unknown:to face it if I never did the work to understand how to do
Unknown:that, I'd still be running and to be honest, the turning point
Unknown:was an all night it was an all night Bender may 3 pretty sure
Unknown:it's makes it 2013 Which was a Friday, Friday morning I went
Unknown:home and I and that was a bender that started on Wednesday. Wow,
Unknown:when I got home look at myself in the mirror and a little voice
Unknown:inside my head. Whispered I don't want to die. And then that
Unknown:was and that was it. Like the fear of death is a serious
Unknown:motivator and it was if you continue this lifestyle you're
Unknown:going to be dead within five years. It's not a if it's just a
Unknown:wet because the body can't can sustain it's so much abuse but
Unknown:the level of abuse was directly correlated by how much pain or
Unknown:was it
Anita Adams:what do you think that voice was?
Unknown:And that that was a lot of the work that I had to do.
Unknown:So was like who who's speaking like who's speaking to me? Is
Unknown:this my voice? When it when I heard the I don't want to die I
Unknown:realized at that moment that it wasn't me because I didn't say I
Unknown:didn't say it did I think it and then I didn't dive into it at
Unknown:that point. But as I started doing the work and walking down
Unknown:my path to heal I realized a I started engaging with this I'm
Unknown:like well there's there's multiple voices, but this one
Unknown:was different because it was very faint. And I felt that
Unknown:differently so it wasn't the inner critic that sits there and
Unknown:just talks crap about it's not a bash brothers guilt and shame.
Unknown:Like that, like that's a those are those are all different
Unknown:voices. This one was was unique. And that's when I started really
Unknown:listening and following it. And over time, I realized that it
Unknown:actually wasn't just a voice as I started listening very closely
Unknown:with it was a voice that would start splitting and then there
Unknown:were actually more than one voice there. And then I started
Unknown:I started paying attention okay, there's there's two voices, but
Unknown:they speak slightly differently. I could only hear one I could
Unknown:hear two and then as I kept doing the work will do this.
Unknown:There's a third one there's the fourth one inside me right now
Unknown:there's seven separate voices, facets of who I am. And each one
Unknown:of them have their own way of speaking when little Winston
Unknown:pieces here next to me I have a bit of an artist he speaks in
Unknown:images. I have my my champion calm Spaceman Spiff. He's like
Unknown:balls out. Like he's like a little little mini Han Solo,
Unknown:where anything is possible and what are you waiting for? Have
Unknown:my shadow can't get rid of the shadow that the ego all these
Unknown:all these pieces, they all sit there and they all speak and
Unknown:give you a little bit of insight as to to where where I believe.
Unknown:I want to get everything to be so where life is. My analogy is
Unknown:a road trip and you have your vehicle and now I have myself
Unknown:and seven people passenger's several facets of myself, the
Unknown:goal isn't to say which one is wrong or right, or who's going
Unknown:to drive the car. It's to have harmony between everyone in the
Unknown:car to say, hey, we're going to get to that point, can we just
Unknown:all agree on the music we're gonna play and the route we're
Unknown:gonna take, and we, you know, let's just be harmonious and get
Unknown:there. And then we can then change the music or have a snack
Unknown:or whatever can but there's a lot less noise, a lot less
Unknown:conflicts on the way there. And that's, that's the work, in my
Unknown:opinion, to have a different experience.
Anita Adams:I'm so fascinated by this story, and this idea of
Anita Adams:these different personas that you that you turn to into, I
Anita Adams:often think I I've only for me, I've only identified two voices
Anita Adams:that speak to me, and one is that inner critic that is
Anita Adams:telling me I'm not enough that I can't do things. And then the
Anita Adams:other one is the inner wisdom. That's, that's my definition of
Anita Adams:inner wisdom. To me, that's, that's spirit. That's God
Anita Adams:talking through my heart, my soul. And I've learned to
Anita Adams:differentiate between the two. Because one comes from fear, the
Anita Adams:ego, that inner critic, and I believe, often it's trying to
Anita Adams:protect me that because it's it's frightened of that, that
Anita Adams:big vision or whatever it is that I'm, I'm, I'm feeling
Anita Adams:called to do. And the other one is, always comes from a place of
Anita Adams:love. Always. Do you find your seven different personas that
Anita Adams:you raise that you tune into? Are they always coming from a
Anita Adams:place of love for you? No, they're not.
Unknown:No, they come from all all different angles. If I'm, if
Unknown:I'm working with someone, I tell them flat out, it's a, you're
Unknown:not just speaking to me, you're speaking to multiple pieces of
Unknown:the audience that I call it like the board, that we're all
Unknown:sitting here, and they're all paying attention. And they all
Unknown:pick up on different things I'm speaking to you about my artist
Unknown:is over here. It's like almost like a picture in picture. And
Unknown:he's throwing up magical paint and visions happen. And I see it
Unknown:in real time. So as I'm describing stuff to you, he's
Unknown:constantly painting. And I'm seeing stuff to happen,
Unknown:literally behind you. I have the ego. And the shadow sitting
Unknown:there saying what I tell people is I hear what you're saying.
Unknown:But I also hear what you're not saying. And those two guys are
Unknown:usually the ones that go, Hey, did you pick up on that they
Unknown:skipped, they skipped over that. They're not telling you
Unknown:something. And they pick up on that very, very quickly. That
Unknown:little Winston is one half of spirit. And I had the operator
Unknown:with operates the Mitsi that they they all pick up on things,
Unknown:I have the ability to tap into the spectrum of love to fear or
Unknown:call it fear. I don't have a better term for it. So now I
Unknown:have accessible spectrum of it. And to go on to work with
Unknown:someone to work with myself and understand the whole story. It's
Unknown:not just to say, Oh, we have to come from a place of love. No,
Unknown:we actually have to go and embrace our shadow to we have to
Unknown:go and turn around and go to our shadow which we've been usually
Unknown:avoiding and to say, I see you. I'm not scared of you. I don't
Unknown:hate you. You are me and I am part of you and embrace it and
Unknown:integrate that part. Because without the shadow you're not
Unknown:holy, you're just one half of you. You gotta
Anita Adams:Okay, I am so jumping to get onto that. Yes.
Anita Adams:And isn't that coming from a place of love though? Embracing
Anita Adams:your darkness, the dark side? I think I agree. 100% We all have
Anita Adams:these different facets is and we all have some darkness in us and
Anita Adams:experience some darkness and to embrace it and acknowledge it
Anita Adams:and to examine it. One you have to have I think you have to have
Anita Adams:a fair amount of self love to be able to do that. And you have to
Anita Adams:come at it from a loving place.
Unknown:I I would choose to say you have to come from a place of
Unknown:compassion. But that's love it I put love at a farther end of the
Unknown:spectrum that compassion is to be I can find I actually
Unknown:consider coming from a place of too much love to actually be
Unknown:smothering. Like like to like, at the far, far end was like,
Unknown:all loving, like, I actually find all loving people actually
Unknown:like, like, you're way too much. Because there's, it's not it's
Unknown:not real Hmm. But to be compassionate to go and look at
Unknown:some thing or someone with with with curiosity and empathy and
Unknown:understanding. That's different. It's like I, it's like, I don't
Unknown:agree with you, I don't like you. But I love to understand
Unknown:you so I can understand where you're coming from. And then
Unknown:when I understand you're like, oh, you know, I never thought
Unknown:about that. And then when there's connection, things can,
Unknown:things can happen, but to say, I don't agree with you, you know,
Unknown:hey, I love you, you really cool. I don't agree with you.
Unknown:But you know that energy's like, there, the other person goes,
Unknown:No, you're not real, you're just saying, it's just it's a
Unknown:different vibe. So I'm looking at from a point of, from a space
Unknown:of compassion and understanding. And when I teach students, the
Unknown:example that I use all the time, which they relate to right away,
Unknown:is how many of you walk by a homeless person on the street?
Unknown:put up their hand? How many of you have chosen to engage the
Unknown:person on the street? And then you can just feel anxiety that
Unknown:no one wants to answer and like, there's no, there's no shame in
Unknown:it. We're, society has conditioned us to act a certain
Unknown:way. So today's exercise is we're going to go out, we're
Unknown:going to engage with some go engage with them and offer him a
Unknown:coffee. And you're going to ask them to tell your story and have
Unknown:a conversation. And then when we debrief, they are all just
Unknown:amazed. Like, they're I never knew that. They're just people.
Unknown:Part of the court that asked in the process is what's worse than
Unknown:being homeless? What's worse than being lonely? Go, in my
Unknown:opinion. And my viewpoint, I should say, at first, I thought
Unknown:the worst thing could be life is lonely, or alone.
Unknown:And I held that position a lot because I said don't like if you
Unknown:had someone then then if you're hungry, you can share a piece of
Unknown:bread. If you're sad, you don't have someone else there. It
Unknown:doesn't matter how much money you have. You're alone. You just
Unknown:don't have anyone around you. So I said, lonely. And it wasn't
Unknown:until the winter walk by a lady who was just sitting on the
Unknown:street, and she said, I'm so cold. And I stopped. I said,
Unknown:Look, I don't have any money to give you but I be happy to buy
Unknown:you something hot to eat. Coffee soup, anything to warm you up.
Unknown:And her reply was, thank you. But I have all that just thank
Unknown:you for stopping and seeing
Anita Adams:and seeing me, yeah.
Unknown:Then I read that I just got punched in the head almost
Unknown:by I realized she rather be seen than to be warm. Hmm. And I go
Unknown:the worst. I go. So that's being invisible. Yeah.
Anita Adams:And how many people feel invisible.
Unknown:So So to look at it from? So that shifted my my
Unknown:perspective. So it's like loving, loving and giving, I
Unknown:want to give it help you. But the goal now shifted, say, I see
Unknown:you. How can I help you? I've got that change of perspective
Unknown:from here, definitely down to here. And how those words how
Unknown:the energy that gets put behind it, how you act towards that
Unknown:person shifts. That's why I choose to say, you have to come
Unknown:from a place of compassion. It is you know, it's in this
Unknown:spectrum of love. But to say you have to be loving to me if I
Unknown:could it kind of I could feel that my skin kind of crawls and
Unknown:yeah, but because by being compassionate, you also take
Unknown:into the fact that there there is ugliness, and darkness and
Unknown:fear and pain. And often I find people that choose to operate
Unknown:only from a place of love. disregard that. Say I say you
Unknown:know what, that's fine. That's okay. or dismiss it like that's
Unknown:okay. You'll get better. It's like well All banks are saying I
Unknown:understand your pain. And that's where, when I did the work to
Unknown:myself, I had to look at myself and someone famous question, if
Unknown:you can go back and talk to a 20 year old version of yourself,
Unknown:what would you say? I finally got to the point where I said,
Unknown:Hey, Winston, I see you and I understand you're in a lot of
Unknown:pain.
Anita Adams:Awesome, I was gonna grab that, I see you like
Anita Adams:we need to, we need to have that conversation with ourselves and
Anita Adams:say, I see you know,
Unknown:you're in a lot of pain, I get it, you have a lot
Unknown:of pain. And you have no one to talk to. You believe that no one
Unknown:understands. And and then when you when you add those
Unknown:ingredients into the store, that dysfunctional story matrix, like
Unknown:no one understands no one gets me I can't connect with anyone.
Unknown:So you create this persona, this mask, and people start, start
Unknown:engaging with the mask and liking the mask that really
Unknown:starts messing with you now. It's like, well, people, people
Unknown:like this, I have to be like this, I can't be me. And now you
Unknown:just become totally disconnected with yourself because you
Unknown:believe that no one wants to be with who you are. They want to
Unknown:be with who this is. So you have to keep putting on this act in
Unknown:order to get the attention and the engagement that you've
Unknown:always wanted. Totally understanding that that's not
Unknown:you. Yeah. And the more I did that, the more and more
Unknown:disconnected I became. So it's all I'd say, is I take a little
Unknown:Winston and say, You wait right here, I'll be back. And then you
Unknown:just keep walking, and totally forget, because you got
Unknown:distracted as to how to get back there.
Anita Adams:That's so interesting. Again, very
Anita Adams:relatable, I'm trying to live up to expectations of society to I
Anita Adams:think is, you know, is a big pressure on a lot of us. And so
Anita Adams:we feel we have to be a certain way. And we but we buy into it.
Anita Adams:And I believe we lose sight of in the process, I believe we
Anita Adams:lose sight in what we really want and who we really are. And
Anita Adams:that happened with me and just about ruin my marriage. So, you
Anita Adams:know, fortunately, I I figured it out. I'll get into that story
Anita Adams:right now another time, perhaps. But it's, it took a lot of
Anita Adams:courage to look in at myself, to really look. It wasn't easy. It
Anita Adams:wasn't easy. It took a lot of time, and a commitment to
Anita Adams:understand who I am, what I want, and why it matters. And I
Anita Adams:think those are the three important questions that we
Anita Adams:always have to ask ourselves, who am I? What do I want? Why
Anita Adams:does it matter?
Unknown:Well, I will pose I will pose a question to your
Unknown:listeners that my guide feather posed to me. I shared a story
Unknown:about what I don't remember the exact story, but her reply was
Unknown:why why do you want like, why do you want it? What is over there
Unknown:that you want so bad?
Unknown:That that you want so bad? What is it? What do I want? Why do I
Unknown:want it so bad?
Unknown:And I was at a loss because then as I'm processing that I'm very
Unknown:much stuck in my head. Right? So the want is here, but the true
Unknown:want is down here. And I it took me a while with her guidance to
Unknown:understand that. What is it you want? Like what is it that you
Unknown:want? Why do you want it so bad. And my, from where I come from,
Unknown:if the want is from my mind, that's a that's an ego stroke.
Unknown:But if the want if I really start paring down and peeling
Unknown:away and looking at Northern White, it also does start this
Unknown:resonance I feel from inside of me go okay, that's a true one.
Unknown:Or a desire or a need or something to take me to the next
Unknown:level. Or something that I meant to to learn from and to grow
Unknown:from versus just a ego stroke, an ego stroke a thing or
Unknown:something cool or material thing. I can manifest material
Unknown:stuff all the time. I proven it to myself. And it's it's just
Unknown:stuff and then at the end it's like yeah, And that was fine,
Unknown:but didn't really meet up to what I thought it would be. And
Unknown:then you drop it off you go. But if you can tune into identity at
Unknown:a soul level want and you experience that. It those are
Unknown:hard to shake.
Anita Adams:Yeah, that's awesome. And Winston, I want to
Anita Adams:I want to stop you there because I want to dive into that, what
Anita Adams:is that process for you? How do you peel back the layers and
Anita Adams:really get to what it is you want and decipher between that
Anita Adams:what the ego wants and what what your heart is calling for you to
Unknown:your it's a, I call it onion theory or onion, their
Unknown:audio, but go back the layers, they're all different iterations
Unknown:of it. But simply put, you can do it by yourself with a piece
Unknown:of paper with a pad or I actually find it a lot better if
Unknown:you do it with someone. The reason is, when you do it by
Unknown:yourself, you know, the your the dysfunctional stories and ego
Unknown:and all that can prevent you from writing down what you
Unknown:really want to write down. But it's not if you have to say to
Unknown:someone and you feel the resistance, then you can go
Unknown:okay, I that. That's resistance. So the process is write down.
Unknown:White, you know, what is it you want? Or just whatever the
Unknown:statement is like, I want to go to Cancun, for example. And then
Unknown:yes, yourself why? And you have to write down 1010 answers. And
Unknown:you take those 10 answers you throw, you throw it away. And he
Unknown:asked, and you have to write 10 more. And all the answers have
Unknown:to be different from the previous one. And as you, you
Unknown:keep going until you feel and you will feel. For me, it's like
Unknown:this, this bubble that comes out that that doesn't want to share
Unknown:what it is. And then that's when you know you're getting really
Unknown:close to the truth. And when you are able to punch through that.
Unknown:When you finally start feeling the resistance, you know, you're
Unknown:getting closer to the true reason as to why you want what
Unknown:that is. And when you can get to the truth of that. You'd be
Unknown:cancer free. Therefore for me, I actually find how simple that
Unknown:request is. But it's masked in so much guilt and shame from
Unknown:from the trauma, that it's almost like this little boy. And
Unknown:all he wants like girls, I just want to go play on the beach.
Unknown:It's all we want to do. I just want to play on the beach. But
Unknown:there's so much guilt and shame from conditioning wrapped around
Unknown:that. That it's like no, I want to go to I want to go to Cancun,
Unknown:so I can go and snorkel and party and play beach volleyball
Unknown:and all that stuff. So the root answer is all it wants to do is
Unknown:just to go and walk on the beach and play in the water. Like you
Unknown:can see how this is the light. And this is the story that we
Unknown:made up to wrap all these layers around this very simple request,
Unknown:want that we won't have it like as a child. But then we were
Unknown:told you can't have it. You can't have it. You're not until
Unknown:you passionate, right? You can't have it, you can't do it, you're
Unknown:not good enough. We don't like whatever it is. It's just layers
Unknown:upon layers. So now we have this grandiose want for a really
Unknown:simple request. And when we can get down to that level, we can
Unknown:say, I can say, Wow, what, and this is from Curiosity kicks in.
Unknown:What else do I want? That's that simple. Like, I want to go have
Unknown:an ice cream cone. Oh, I gotta go go out and just get trashed.
Unknown:And then order ice cream for dessert. This is what I truly
Unknown:wanted. And when you can, when you can start. And it's scary
Unknown:work. I'm not saying it's simple at all. Because you might find
Unknown:yourself and think that this is it. And then you could actually
Unknown:keep going further and further down until you feel that feel it
Unknown:when you can access that want. Like whatever that desire is.
Unknown:It's free. Yeah, because it's, it's, it's true. And that's what
Unknown:I had to go through.
Anita Adams:And is that something that you you practice?
Anita Adams:Constantly like it's not like a one and done. It's like a
Anita Adams:continuous journey of tapping into and trying to figure out
Anita Adams:what it is that you want.
Unknown:I wish I could say I was this had a perfect track
Unknown:record but I probably say i i am successful. At this point 30% of
Unknown:the time. I'm not even going to make it up that I don't either.
Unknown:constantly fall back into the conditioning it because I didn't
Unknown:understand how strong the conditioning is where we've been
Unknown:facing the conditioning our entire lives. Yeah. So for us to
Unknown:go up and I've, I've, I've done the work and the conditioning
Unknown:for me is this Hey guys brutal guard that wants to that is
Unknown:preventing you from getting another side. So you walk up and
Unknown:it's a slippery magic King Kong Sydney just swatting you, and it
Unknown:hurts and wants you to watch it submit and want you to conform.
Unknown:And then you go back up and you try again it smashes you. You
Unknown:have to continually pick yourself up. It's like why do I
Unknown:want this right? Well, I want to get to the other side. I want to
Unknown:get the other side. And when you do, it's rewarding. But you
Anita Adams:know that there's there's greatness there. Right?
Anita Adams:There's greatness within you. And that that those little
Anita Adams:voices that you hear those personalities that are saying
Anita Adams:that to you, Winston, you're you're awesome. And they want
Anita Adams:you to to push past that prison, right?
Unknown:The guard just comes wrestling? Who the hell do you
Unknown:think you are Smash, go back there, and then it kicks you
Unknown:back in then picks you up and starts beating? It's like, do
Unknown:you want to go there? Who do you think you are? So it's beat? We
Unknown:start beating on ourselves?
Anita Adams:Yeah, totally. We're the we're that guard.
Anita Adams:Yeah. But as you
Unknown:as you get past once, and the key is once you get past
Unknown:once, you know it's possible. And that's all you need to know
Unknown:that it's possible. I think I did it once I can do it a yet.
Unknown:Second time, you might be even more punishing with it. But then
Unknown:you have that internal belief that you go, I've done it. I've
Unknown:done it once I know it's possible, I can do it again. And
Unknown:then we do it again. That the power that the guard has
Unknown:diminishes doesn't mean that it's any easier. It just means
Unknown:that now that you've done it a few times, you know that it's
Unknown:possible, and then you have the perseverance to continue.
Anita Adams:It gives you the confidence that you can you've
Anita Adams:done it before. It's like you've learned that you can do it. So
Anita Adams:you by learning, you can then go and do it again. Yeah, and it
Anita Adams:does, I think it does get a little easier. I think
Unknown:it does. Like you can say okay, the first 10 steps is
Unknown:sneak past. Past it, like playing a video game. It's like
Unknown:you get the you get the emotions down. And then you can bypass
Unknown:most of the first steps because they're always the same. It's
Unknown:the ladder steps. As you get closer and closer. It gets it
Unknown:gets more subtle and devious. Because they go. Winston's
Unknown:coming again, here we go. And what it's what little what
Unknown:movies, is he going to try this time. And that's and that's the
Unknown:work to start undoing the conditioning. And when we I
Unknown:don't know if we can ever truly undo all of it. But if you undo
Unknown:it to an up to a low enough point, then you can just you can
Unknown:bypass it, but it still always be there. Yeah, I
Anita Adams:think you're right, I think it's still will always
Anita Adams:be there. I think also it's a big key is recognizing what is
Anita Adams:happening, you know, like if I can identify that oh yeah,
Anita Adams:that's just my fear, fear fear of failure, fear of humiliation
Anita Adams:or rejection or whatever it is, like I've been here before and
Anita Adams:the way through it is just to keep pushing myself keep on this
Anita Adams:track and and believe in myself. And so my process Winston is I
Anita Adams:do I go for walks in the forest. And I have these conversations
Anita Adams:with God the universe and and put it out there and I basically
Anita Adams:am talking to myself and convincing myself that yes, I
Anita Adams:can do this, I can do this. And that really helps me take the
Anita Adams:next step. You know, like just for this podcast, for instance,
Anita Adams:it's taken me a year to actually do it because it was I was
Anita Adams:initially really afraid to put myself out there and talk about
Anita Adams:things like God and the universe and my my Achilles heel of
Anita Adams:feeling like I'm not smart enough like that. Those are hard
Anita Adams:things for me to talk about yet I knew these. This was mine to
Anita Adams:do and I needed to find the confidence and the courage to do
Anita Adams:it. It took me a year. You're and here we are. So and it's
Anita Adams:this is part of my journey. And it's I like to call it the
Anita Adams:joyful journey because the the step every step I take is
Anita Adams:getting me closer to experiencing more and more joy
Anita Adams:and I feel like I am living a really joyful life. It's because
Anita Adams:I'm taking action towards conquering my fears or dressing
Anita Adams:my fears. And I like the word you use the phrase you use
Anita Adams:embracing the dark I think we do have to embrace it, we all have
Anita Adams:it, we have to face it and embrace it. And so I understand
Anita Adams:it,
Unknown:the embracing part, the story that goes behind it. So it
Unknown:was that day. I said didn't want to die. My lifestyle was, you
Unknown:know, people say it's like, it's like you're going down in
Unknown:flames. With the plane type thing. And yeah, I was, it was
Unknown:like a meteor coming coming down. I was I was, I was
Unknown:escaping so hard. That that's all that's all I wanted to do,
Unknown:because I didn't, just like I knew the monsters were coming.
Unknown:Not understanding that. What have been shown is like that,
Unknown:it's like that dog that's chasing you thinking that it's
Unknown:going to eat you, when all the dog wants to do is they just
Unknown:want to say hi. But where do they go, Oh, my God, this dog
Unknown:chasing after they were running or running and running to a
Unknown:point where we're running for so long. We don't even want to be
Unknown:running anymore, we just know that we have to keep running.
Unknown:And when I finally it took years, to go from that point of
Unknown:I don't want to die to getting my my mind body and spirit
Unknown:healthy. So it started with getting the body healthy. And
Unknown:then as the bodies started getting healthy, and then I
Unknown:started drinking the substances, then the the soul, the spirit
Unknown:could heal, because it's just not being poisoned all the time,
Unknown:the body's not being poisoned. I can, I can start healing that.
Unknown:And when that started healing, all all these other things I
Unknown:didn't even know about started happening where I started, I got
Unknown:the feel. And as weird as that may sound to people, I've only
Unknown:been able to feel a full range of emotions three years ago. So
Unknown:prior to that I had very stunted emotional range. So that started
Unknown:happening. And then when that started happening, I realized
Unknown:like, there are things I've been missing out on. And that's that
Unknown:the Land of Illusion I talk about when you're operating with
Unknown:diminished capacities and filters all over the place that
Unknown:we created. What we're taking in is not what's actually happening
Unknown:out there, it's all we get to see and experience and feel.
Unknown:missing out. So someone the filter started coming down and
Unknown:the stories don't going away the spirit start healing. That's
Unknown:when the I caught the, the signal to noise ratio, that's
Unknown:when the the whispers start getting louder and the noise
Unknown:starts going down. It's like, hey, I can I can hear you. Oh,
Unknown:you you want me to always say, oh, turn left instead of right.
Unknown:Why? Okay, you know what you said turn left, turn left. And
Unknown:then it's like, Oh, I've missed all that traffic over there.
Unknown:Thank thanks for the tip. I'm sure many of you experienced
Unknown:that. I just like simple little nudges. But where did the nudge
Unknown:come from? And if you follow the nudges, and again, people, your
Unknown:listeners might have had what I described like the perfect day,
Unknown:the only call the perfect day where everything just unfolded
Unknown:beautifully. When you're happy and things are happening. And
Unknown:you follow the guidance and say do this, do this, do this. Just
Unknown:the momentum just builds and then at the end of the day, it's
Unknown:like wow, that was like the best day ever. That's because you're
Unknown:just following the guidance. Your soul Your heart just goes.
Unknown:Let's do this. Let's do this. And you're okay. Okay, okay. And
Unknown:away you go. And it's supposed to be that easy. We're taught
Unknown:that it's not supposed to be that easy. I go when it is that
Unknown:easy. It's like why don't I live like this all the time? And I'm
Unknown:not gonna say it is difficult. I still working on getting to that
Unknown:state where I am following the guidance more than I'm following
Unknown:my myself.
Anita Adams:trusting Him that place that we trust it and
Anita Adams:listen to it all the time.
Unknown:All the time. Yeah.
Anita Adams:I love them. Follow the nudges. I might still that
Anita Adams:follow the nudges. I love that a lot. I want to ask you, how do
Anita Adams:you define spirit? What is that
Unknown:spirit? For me? I define it as you watch men and
Unknown:block. Yeah. Okay, you know that that scene where the little
Unknown:alien is inside the head, operating the robot. So spirit
Unknown:is operator and spirit resides in this meatsuit and and makes
Unknown:spirit its spirit soul is what's in the meatsuit so it's living
Unknown:in here and that's how that's how I visualize it so it's a it
Unknown:makes everything work and it's experiencing everything through
Unknown:it's inside you so it can't actually experience what's going
Unknown:on it's it's interpreting everything through our eyes or
Unknown:senses and everything and then all of the other facets are
Unknown:guiding it
Anita Adams:all the other facets are guiding it what are
Anita Adams:the other facets
Unknown:don't little instance or all the other voices are
Unknown:actually going if you want to go I tried to explain this to a
Unknown:younger class so it made sense April Can you see people in
Unknown:spaceships so they get you know the communication systems where
Unknown:they don't always talking to them, but they hear stuff? They
Unknown:Oh, yeah. Just like that. It's like you're by yourself. You
Unknown:understand? I say God, hey, like real? Hey, Winston, how you
Unknown:doing? You don't know what like you think that's someone back at
Unknown:the base station. radioing in okay, why do you listen to that?
Unknown:Why is the pilot listening to that? Why are they listening to
Unknown:whatever's coming in, they can choose to tune into it or not.
Unknown:So again, it's where are these voices coming from? So that's,
Unknown:that's why I say it's so all these voices that I have now
Unknown:clearly identified, and I'm sure that are more helping guide
Unknown:spirit forward.
Anita Adams:It's really interesting. That's really, uh,
Anita Adams:I'm fascinated, fascinated by you, and your stories and, and
Anita Adams:your definitions. And I feel like I've picked up some really
Anita Adams:great insights and things that I want to try as well. I'm, I like
Anita Adams:to think of spirit as my highest self as well, you know, it's a,
Anita Adams:learning how to listen to that highest self, I believe that if
Anita Adams:the world learned how to tap into and listen to that highest
Anita Adams:self, oh my god, we'd be in such a better place
Unknown:to how I have had similar conversation with each
Unknown:other. And it took me a while to wrap my brain around this one.
Unknown:Or she said, I am you and you are me. And we are the same
Unknown:thing. All of us, all of us are the same claim. And each of us
Unknown:are having a unique experience. So we can learn.
Anita Adams:I believe that 100%
Unknown:Yeah. So if, if that is the case, then to reframe what
Unknown:you said spirit isn't up there like spirit, we are all the
Unknown:same. Yeah. So we are we are eager to tap into
Anita Adams:that and listen to it, we would be in such a better
Anita Adams:place. I want to this is tied in to this something that I've
Anita Adams:started practicing with this idea that we are all one going
Anita Adams:back to you and sending your students out into the street to
Anita Adams:connect with homeless people. I've started to imagine myself
Anita Adams:as I am, I am that man. I am that woman sitting on the
Anita Adams:corner. And with her guitar case and her copper pan for
Anita Adams:donations, I am the man who's walking on the street talking to
Anita Adams:himself or or maybe his higher self and in doing this exercise
Anita Adams:no tremendous compassion for these individuals as whereas
Anita Adams:before I would go across the street and walk you know try to
Anita Adams:avoid them. And now I'm I'm imagining myself that I am them
Anita Adams:I am I am you I am that it just puts you in a different place of
Anita Adams:connecting with with who you are, and I believe in it makes
Anita Adams:you helps you really feel the compassion that we need to feel
Anita Adams:in this world. It's an interesting exercise try.
Unknown:I I've learned that from my dog My dog doesn't have
Unknown:to have judgment. I, I've shared the story another time where I
Unknown:learned from my dog. It was one of walking her and I heard often
Unknown:sides like that. That's a beautiful dog. And I looked
Unknown:over, and it was a homeless person. And my dog sitting there
Unknown:looking at the pigeon sticking around, and then she trotted
Unknown:over there. And I remember when I tell told the story, the first
Unknown:time I said, Yeah, and I let her engage them when I let her
Unknown:engage. Hmm. Why? Why did I not say that about the guy with the
Unknown:suit? Or the pretty lady? Why did I choose to say I let her
Unknown:engage with the homeless person? She didn't choose GG engages
Unknown:everybody. And then I picked up on my own judgment and
Unknown:conditioning on that. That's like, yeah, why? Why did I say
Unknown:that? It's okay to engage with these people. But these people.
Unknown:And I really had to sit with that one. And so now when we go
Unknown:for a walk, and she's looking at someone, and I'll stop, look at
Unknown:them, what do you see that like, okay, let's have a look, that
Unknown:person tried to figure it out. And I realized that when I walk
Unknown:with her, if we just take a moment to just be in the space
Unknown:that we're walking in, there's so much happening and not
Unknown:happening when I say not happening, and so many people
Unknown:that are disconnected. Here's a person, they're all on their
Unknown:device, crossing the street, or listening to music, and there's
Unknown:cars going by, it's like you are just so I call it siloed your
Unknown:own own little silo, you're totally oblivious to anything
Unknown:that's going on. And that's that social disconnection that I'm
Unknown:talking about. Or people are I'm watch people rushing? are you
Unknown:rushing off to? Why? Why are you in such a hurry? Or, listen, I
Unknown:just happened to listen to a conversation I go, it's not
Unknown:really conversation that's like verbal ping pong going over
Unknown:there. And looking at the space, I mean, as a whole. And
Unknown:wondering what I could do to shift this. Not to change it,
Unknown:you know, just to shift it and not to go in there and say, I
Unknown:didn't interrupt people in their conversations at all, you should
Unknown:guys do this. Like, what? What could I do to shift this? What
Unknown:could I do to improve connection. And then,
Unknown:realization was about to create the spaces to introduce in
Unknown:introducing how people practice, I didn't say teach, practice,
Anita Adams:practice, and hence voice story was born. Awesome.
Anita Adams:You are somebody who I believe is operating from your highest
Anita Adams:self. And you are a leader who wants to make a difference in
Anita Adams:the world that you want to have impact. And I am really honored
Anita Adams:to know you. And to have this time with you today. Winston,
Anita Adams:thank you so much for sharing a piece of your story with us
Anita Adams:today and giving me some more ways to look at things and and
Anita Adams:think about things. So thank you so much. I'm so I'm so grateful
Anita Adams:for you.
Unknown:Well, you're welcome. And as I said, there's there's a
Unknown:lot and I'm sure we covered a whole gamut of topics. And if
Unknown:your, your listeners have any questions, feel free to email or
Unknown:reach out to me at winston@voicestream.ca I'd be
Unknown:happy to engage and answer any thoughts or comments or
Unknown:questions or just want to connect in the experience? What?
Unknown:What can come out of that? Because, as I said, in order to
Unknown:or to create the change, we have to be we have to initiate it
Unknown:ourselves.
Anita Adams:100% Yeah. And when we come together apart so one of
Anita Adams:the reasons why I really wanted to start this podcast was to
Anita Adams:heighten the collective consciousness and it's through
Anita Adams:conversations like this. It's through connecting with other
Anita Adams:people that want something more for our world and want to come
Anita Adams:from a place of their highest self. And when we connect with
Anita Adams:others that are doing that we we are we're stronger together,
Anita Adams:which simply stronger together and we make a bigger impact. So
Anita Adams:with anything that was said Today in the show, and resonates
Anita Adams:with you please do reach out to Winston or myself. We will put
Anita Adams:Winston's contact information in the story notes. So yeah, please
Anita Adams:do even just reach out and say hello. And if you'd like this,
Anita Adams:the show, please, please leave a review for us. It all helps.
Anita Adams:Alright. And I think with that, Winston, we'll sign off. That's
Anita Adams:all right. Yeah. Thanks, everybody. Thank you for joining
Anita Adams:us today on the joyful journey podcast. If anything resonated
Anita Adams:with you, please visit our website at joyful inspired
Anita Adams:living.com Sign up to receive a free download of our three
Anita Adams:guiding principles to inner wisdom and become a member of
Anita Adams:the joyful inspired living community. For a deeper
Anita Adams:spiritual dive, check out our retreats we offer both in person
Anita Adams:retreats on beautiful Bowen Island in British Columbia, as
Anita Adams:well as online retreats that you can do from the comfort of your
Anita Adams:own home. And finally, if you liked our show, please leave a
Anita Adams:review so more people can find it and learn how to access their
Anita Adams:highest self and together will raise the collective