Breaking Through the Prison of Dysfunctional Stories

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Welcome to the joyful journey podcast. If

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you're uncertain about what you really want or unsure how to be

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a force for good, you know this world craves, then this is the

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show for you. I'm Anita Adams, your host and guide to finding

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clarity and creating a life you love. Let's tap into our inner

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wisdom, access our highest self and unleash joy. As we raise our

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vibration, we heighten the collective consciousness and

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that, my friends, is the joyful journey. Let's dive in.

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Hey, joyful journey errs, Anita Adams here, your host, and I'm

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so excited to bring an interview with my friend Winston Young.

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Hey, Winston, how's it going?

Unknown: 00:00:51

Doing great, Anita, thanks for having me.

Anita Adams: 00:00:54

Well, thanks again for being a part of this. So

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joyful journey. Here's let me tell you a little bit more about

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Winston. Winston is the founder of a really cool organization

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called Voice story, an initiative that was designed to

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tackle the issue of so social isolation that is prevalent in

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today's society, which is caused by things like working remotely,

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our addiction to mobile devices, and all the time we're spending

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on social media. And that lack of spaces which promotes deeper

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connection, and conversations. And of course, COVID-19 has not

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helped any it's in fact intensified that sense of social

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isolation. When I learned Winston's personal story that

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led him to start voice story. I was intrigued and understood

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that Winston was someone who needed to be on the joyful

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journey podcast, he is someone who has learned how to tap into

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his own inner wisdom and listen to it, which guided him out of

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the dark and into the light. And now he's helping so many other

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people do the same. And I believe his story is going to

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resonate with many of you today. So I'm grateful for you to be

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here with us, Winston, thank you again for making time for this.

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And let's dive in. So when I, I was doing a little bit more

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research on you. And I found something you wrote was on

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LinkedIn. And I just want to, I want to start there, because I

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thought this was it really captured my interest. You said,

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I was a prisoner to the dysfunctional stories I created

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last in the Land of Illusion of my own design, it took many

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years, but eventually I walked out of my prison. And I'm now

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living a life aligned with spirit, body and mind while you

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pack a lot of punch into those two sentences. And you know, I

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believe that there are a lot of people that have been there or

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are currently in that position, a prisoner of dysfunctional

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stories that that they've created that we've created, lost

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in an illusion. So I want you to talk a little bit about that I

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want first there's two things, I want to know what it what are

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the stories that you told yourself that kept you feeling

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like a prisoner if you're willing to share? And I think

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perhaps the more important question is, what happened to

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break you free?

Winston Yeung: 00:03:25

I hope we have enough time to, to cover all

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that. When I was very unaware of I call it the conditioning that

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was placed upon me. And many people, I would say the majority

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of the population on the planet are not aware of that, because

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we were just raised and we put we are the way we are. And we

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never question it. So I grew up in a culture where men don't

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express men don't share their feelings. They don't show your

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emotions, you have to figure it out. If you don't figure it out,

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then I was always told like Well, are you a man or not? So

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that, as you can probably see, sets up some certain really

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weird ideas about how I'm supposed to act around this.

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Every time I would show some accomplishments because my

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parents were born from a generation where you you're not

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supposed to be humble. You're not supposed to praise anybody

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that never got any acknowledgement. So everything

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that I did to get acknowledgement just compounded

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on the fact that I never got it. So whatever I did was never good

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enough. So I had to do better. Now from the work I've done with

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people, I can see how that can go two ways. One, it just turned

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You into someone that goes, I'm not good enough and you hide

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from the world. Or you do what I did, where I hyper compensated,

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and prove to the world that I belong, that I am somebody. So I

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went from this person that was told you, you're not good

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enough. No matter how hard you work, you can always do better.

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And you can't tell anyone about how you're feeling. So you just

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have to do this with a and present the world that

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everything's a okay. And that just led me down a path of it

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was unattainable for one. And it led me down a path where I

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suppressed almost all emotion. And I'm just walking around like

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a zombie. story that I tell all the time, when I was a kid, I

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got 100% on a math test, ran home with a paper. I showed it

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to my mom. She looked at it, and this goes, you could have done

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better. Like, I don't understand I got a perfect mark. And she

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goes, he missed the bonus question. Who else got the bonus

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question, right. And that's, that's when I knew I had to go,

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I had to go do something better to get the attention that

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acknowledgement the love from from my parents. And these were

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the stories that started forming. So without any type of

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intervention from someone else, I started formulating stories

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that I'm not good enough, no matter what I did isn't good

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enough. No one wants me if no one wants me unless I give them

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something worthy of their acknowledgement. So love became

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transactional. I can't get love, I don't present something. But

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everything I present isn't good enough. So I never get the love.

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So I have to create something better. And that is a an

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impossible task. So you just keep striving, higher and higher

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and higher. But inside you or inside me was the story that no

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matter what I did, even upon presentation, the Whisper is

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it's not good, you could do better. Then that activates OCD

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that activates perfectionism. All these other behaviors, which

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now again, now that it just started dogpiling. So imagine

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sitting there going the other story tell at the beginning is

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oh I see attractive female want to engage with. And in seconds,

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the internal dialogue, just, it doesn't

Unknown: 00:07:51

stop me. It literally tore me apart where it's like,

Unknown: 00:07:54

Who do you think you are? You're gonna go do this. Are you crazy?

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And then, because I have such a visual mindset, I could see,

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like, 1000s of scenarios this unfold. And my internal self

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worth just gets torn apart to a point where not only do I not

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engage, I want to leave. Because I'm just hurting so bad for

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myself. No one did anything. No one heard anything. No, I never

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said anything at all happened inside. And that's the power of

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that's the power of the stories that we create from the traumas

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that we experience. That's, that's how it all started. And

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that's I didn't understand it was a prison. It's like it's a

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prison. It's the prison guards. It's, it's an entire structure,

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that it's so perfect. Because we created it, every moment of

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every day that we live, we are we're not aware that we're

Unknown: 00:09:00

protecting this cell that we're in.

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It's protection, isn't it? We want to protect

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ourselves.

Unknown: 00:09:08

Or what are we protecting ourselves from?

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rejection, at fear of maybe humiliation,

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confirmation that we're not enough. And I feel like your

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story is so relatable, that we're, I've been in that that

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spot where countless times I feel like I'm finally you know,

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age 52 You know, I'm breaking through my prison, but I've been

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there. I've been there. I've stopped myself from moving

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forward with things because of this belief that I'm not enough

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that I'm not strong enough, smart enough. That was my

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Achilles heel. I'm not smart enough.

Unknown: 00:09:52

And I believe everyone goes through that. So it's the

Unknown: 00:09:58

guilt and shame So it's self worth low self worth low self

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esteem. Not understanding how to embrace and I want to put it

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embracing process these these dark emotions I don't want to

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say negative, they're just dark emotions because we're never

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taught how to. So we're constantly seeking pleasurable

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emotions. And then when these dark emotions come up we go oh,

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I don't know how to do that I don't like how this feels and

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and then that's where alcohol and substances to numb out what

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to escape from this and what I didn't understand is you can't

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you can't outrun it it'll build up and eventually you don't have

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to face it if I never did the work to understand how to do

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that, I'd still be running and to be honest, the turning point

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was an all night it was an all night Bender may 3 pretty sure

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it's makes it 2013 Which was a Friday, Friday morning I went

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home and I and that was a bender that started on Wednesday. Wow,

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when I got home look at myself in the mirror and a little voice

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inside my head. Whispered I don't want to die. And then that

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was and that was it. Like the fear of death is a serious

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motivator and it was if you continue this lifestyle you're

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going to be dead within five years. It's not a if it's just a

Unknown: 00:11:46

wet because the body can't can sustain it's so much abuse but

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the level of abuse was directly correlated by how much pain or

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was it

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what do you think that voice was?

Unknown: 00:12:05

And that that was a lot of the work that I had to do.

Unknown: 00:12:14

So was like who who's speaking like who's speaking to me? Is

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this my voice? When it when I heard the I don't want to die I

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realized at that moment that it wasn't me because I didn't say I

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didn't say it did I think it and then I didn't dive into it at

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that point. But as I started doing the work and walking down

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my path to heal I realized a I started engaging with this I'm

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like well there's there's multiple voices, but this one

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was different because it was very faint. And I felt that

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differently so it wasn't the inner critic that sits there and

Unknown: 00:13:06

just talks crap about it's not a bash brothers guilt and shame.

Unknown: 00:13:13

Like that, like that's a those are those are all different

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voices. This one was was unique. And that's when I started really

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listening and following it. And over time, I realized that it

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actually wasn't just a voice as I started listening very closely

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with it was a voice that would start splitting and then there

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were actually more than one voice there. And then I started

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I started paying attention okay, there's there's two voices, but

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they speak slightly differently. I could only hear one I could

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hear two and then as I kept doing the work will do this.

Unknown: 00:13:52

There's a third one there's the fourth one inside me right now

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there's seven separate voices, facets of who I am. And each one

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of them have their own way of speaking when little Winston

Unknown: 00:14:09

pieces here next to me I have a bit of an artist he speaks in

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images. I have my my champion calm Spaceman Spiff. He's like

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balls out. Like he's like a little little mini Han Solo,

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where anything is possible and what are you waiting for? Have

Unknown: 00:14:34

my shadow can't get rid of the shadow that the ego all these

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all these pieces, they all sit there and they all speak and

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give you a little bit of insight as to to where where I believe.

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I want to get everything to be so where life is. My analogy is

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a road trip and you have your vehicle and now I have myself

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and seven people passenger's several facets of myself, the

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goal isn't to say which one is wrong or right, or who's going

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to drive the car. It's to have harmony between everyone in the

Unknown: 00:15:12

car to say, hey, we're going to get to that point, can we just

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all agree on the music we're gonna play and the route we're

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gonna take, and we, you know, let's just be harmonious and get

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there. And then we can then change the music or have a snack

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or whatever can but there's a lot less noise, a lot less

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conflicts on the way there. And that's, that's the work, in my

Unknown: 00:15:38

opinion, to have a different experience.

Anita Adams: 00:15:44

I'm so fascinated by this story, and this idea of

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these different personas that you that you turn to into, I

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often think I I've only for me, I've only identified two voices

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that speak to me, and one is that inner critic that is

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telling me I'm not enough that I can't do things. And then the

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other one is the inner wisdom. That's, that's my definition of

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inner wisdom. To me, that's, that's spirit. That's God

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talking through my heart, my soul. And I've learned to

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differentiate between the two. Because one comes from fear, the

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ego, that inner critic, and I believe, often it's trying to

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protect me that because it's it's frightened of that, that

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big vision or whatever it is that I'm, I'm, I'm feeling

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called to do. And the other one is, always comes from a place of

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love. Always. Do you find your seven different personas that

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you raise that you tune into? Are they always coming from a

Anita Adams: 00:16:58

place of love for you? No, they're not.

Unknown: 00:17:02

No, they come from all all different angles. If I'm, if

Unknown: 00:17:09

I'm working with someone, I tell them flat out, it's a, you're

Unknown: 00:17:14

not just speaking to me, you're speaking to multiple pieces of

Unknown: 00:17:17

the audience that I call it like the board, that we're all

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sitting here, and they're all paying attention. And they all

Unknown: 00:17:23

pick up on different things I'm speaking to you about my artist

Unknown: 00:17:27

is over here. It's like almost like a picture in picture. And

Unknown: 00:17:31

he's throwing up magical paint and visions happen. And I see it

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in real time. So as I'm describing stuff to you, he's

Unknown: 00:17:38

constantly painting. And I'm seeing stuff to happen,

Unknown: 00:17:44

literally behind you. I have the ego. And the shadow sitting

Unknown: 00:17:49

there saying what I tell people is I hear what you're saying.

Unknown: 00:17:55

But I also hear what you're not saying. And those two guys are

Unknown: 00:17:58

usually the ones that go, Hey, did you pick up on that they

Unknown: 00:18:01

skipped, they skipped over that. They're not telling you

Unknown: 00:18:04

something. And they pick up on that very, very quickly. That

Unknown: 00:18:09

little Winston is one half of spirit. And I had the operator

Unknown: 00:18:14

with operates the Mitsi that they they all pick up on things,

Unknown: 00:18:19

I have the ability to tap into the spectrum of love to fear or

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call it fear. I don't have a better term for it. So now I

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have accessible spectrum of it. And to go on to work with

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someone to work with myself and understand the whole story. It's

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not just to say, Oh, we have to come from a place of love. No,

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we actually have to go and embrace our shadow to we have to

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go and turn around and go to our shadow which we've been usually

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avoiding and to say, I see you. I'm not scared of you. I don't

Unknown: 00:18:58

hate you. You are me and I am part of you and embrace it and

Unknown: 00:19:03

integrate that part. Because without the shadow you're not

Unknown: 00:19:05

holy, you're just one half of you. You gotta

Anita Adams: 00:19:08

Okay, I am so jumping to get onto that. Yes.

Anita Adams: 00:19:14

And isn't that coming from a place of love though? Embracing

Anita Adams: 00:19:19

your darkness, the dark side? I think I agree. 100% We all have

Anita Adams: 00:19:24

these different facets is and we all have some darkness in us and

Anita Adams: 00:19:29

experience some darkness and to embrace it and acknowledge it

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and to examine it. One you have to have I think you have to have

Anita Adams: 00:19:40

a fair amount of self love to be able to do that. And you have to

Anita Adams: 00:19:43

come at it from a loving place.

Unknown: 00:19:45

I I would choose to say you have to come from a place of

Unknown: 00:19:50

compassion. But that's love it I put love at a farther end of the

Unknown: 00:19:56

spectrum that compassion is to be I can find I actually

Unknown: 00:20:01

consider coming from a place of too much love to actually be

Unknown: 00:20:05

smothering. Like like to like, at the far, far end was like,

Unknown: 00:20:09

all loving, like, I actually find all loving people actually

Unknown: 00:20:13

like, like, you're way too much. Because there's, it's not it's

Unknown: 00:20:19

not real Hmm. But to be compassionate to go and look at

Unknown: 00:20:24

some thing or someone with with with curiosity and empathy and

Unknown: 00:20:29

understanding. That's different. It's like I, it's like, I don't

Unknown: 00:20:35

agree with you, I don't like you. But I love to understand

Unknown: 00:20:40

you so I can understand where you're coming from. And then

Unknown: 00:20:43

when I understand you're like, oh, you know, I never thought

Unknown: 00:20:45

about that. And then when there's connection, things can,

Unknown: 00:20:49

things can happen, but to say, I don't agree with you, you know,

Unknown: 00:20:52

hey, I love you, you really cool. I don't agree with you.

Unknown: 00:20:55

But you know that energy's like, there, the other person goes,

Unknown: 00:21:00

No, you're not real, you're just saying, it's just it's a

Unknown: 00:21:04

different vibe. So I'm looking at from a point of, from a space

Unknown: 00:21:09

of compassion and understanding. And when I teach students, the

Unknown: 00:21:16

example that I use all the time, which they relate to right away,

Unknown: 00:21:20

is how many of you walk by a homeless person on the street?

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put up their hand? How many of you have chosen to engage the

Unknown: 00:21:28

person on the street? And then you can just feel anxiety that

Unknown: 00:21:33

no one wants to answer and like, there's no, there's no shame in

Unknown: 00:21:35

it. We're, society has conditioned us to act a certain

Unknown: 00:21:39

way. So today's exercise is we're going to go out, we're

Unknown: 00:21:43

going to engage with some go engage with them and offer him a

Unknown: 00:21:48

coffee. And you're going to ask them to tell your story and have

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a conversation. And then when we debrief, they are all just

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amazed. Like, they're I never knew that. They're just people.

Unknown: 00:22:05

Part of the court that asked in the process is what's worse than

Unknown: 00:22:12

being homeless? What's worse than being lonely? Go, in my

Unknown: 00:22:21

opinion. And my viewpoint, I should say, at first, I thought

Unknown: 00:22:28

the worst thing could be life is lonely, or alone.

Unknown: 00:22:33

And I held that position a lot because I said don't like if you

Unknown: 00:22:35

had someone then then if you're hungry, you can share a piece of

Unknown: 00:22:40

bread. If you're sad, you don't have someone else there. It

Unknown: 00:22:43

doesn't matter how much money you have. You're alone. You just

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don't have anyone around you. So I said, lonely. And it wasn't

Unknown: 00:22:49

until the winter walk by a lady who was just sitting on the

Unknown: 00:22:56

street, and she said, I'm so cold. And I stopped. I said,

Unknown: 00:23:02

Look, I don't have any money to give you but I be happy to buy

Unknown: 00:23:05

you something hot to eat. Coffee soup, anything to warm you up.

Unknown: 00:23:10

And her reply was, thank you. But I have all that just thank

Unknown: 00:23:14

you for stopping and seeing

Anita Adams: 00:23:16

and seeing me, yeah.

Unknown: 00:23:19

Then I read that I just got punched in the head almost

Unknown: 00:23:22

by I realized she rather be seen than to be warm. Hmm. And I go

Unknown: 00:23:32

the worst. I go. So that's being invisible. Yeah.

Anita Adams: 00:23:38

And how many people feel invisible.

Unknown: 00:23:40

So So to look at it from? So that shifted my my

Unknown: 00:23:46

perspective. So it's like loving, loving and giving, I

Unknown: 00:23:49

want to give it help you. But the goal now shifted, say, I see

Unknown: 00:23:55

you. How can I help you? I've got that change of perspective

Unknown: 00:24:01

from here, definitely down to here. And how those words how

Unknown: 00:24:07

the energy that gets put behind it, how you act towards that

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person shifts. That's why I choose to say, you have to come

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from a place of compassion. It is you know, it's in this

Unknown: 00:24:20

spectrum of love. But to say you have to be loving to me if I

Unknown: 00:24:27

could it kind of I could feel that my skin kind of crawls and

Unknown: 00:24:31

yeah, but because by being compassionate, you also take

Unknown: 00:24:38

into the fact that there there is ugliness, and darkness and

Unknown: 00:24:42

fear and pain. And often I find people that choose to operate

Unknown: 00:24:49

only from a place of love. disregard that. Say I say you

Unknown: 00:24:53

know what, that's fine. That's okay. or dismiss it like that's

Unknown: 00:24:57

okay. You'll get better. It's like well All banks are saying I

Unknown: 00:25:02

understand your pain. And that's where, when I did the work to

Unknown: 00:25:06

myself, I had to look at myself and someone famous question, if

Unknown: 00:25:12

you can go back and talk to a 20 year old version of yourself,

Unknown: 00:25:17

what would you say? I finally got to the point where I said,

Unknown: 00:25:22

Hey, Winston, I see you and I understand you're in a lot of

Unknown: 00:25:25

pain.

Anita Adams: 00:25:26

Awesome, I was gonna grab that, I see you like

Anita Adams: 00:25:30

we need to, we need to have that conversation with ourselves and

Anita Adams: 00:25:34

say, I see you know,

Unknown: 00:25:37

you're in a lot of pain, I get it, you have a lot

Unknown: 00:25:39

of pain. And you have no one to talk to. You believe that no one

Unknown: 00:25:42

understands. And and then when you when you add those

Unknown: 00:25:49

ingredients into the store, that dysfunctional story matrix, like

Unknown: 00:25:52

no one understands no one gets me I can't connect with anyone.

Unknown: 00:25:56

So you create this persona, this mask, and people start, start

Unknown: 00:26:00

engaging with the mask and liking the mask that really

Unknown: 00:26:03

starts messing with you now. It's like, well, people, people

Unknown: 00:26:06

like this, I have to be like this, I can't be me. And now you

Unknown: 00:26:10

just become totally disconnected with yourself because you

Unknown: 00:26:14

believe that no one wants to be with who you are. They want to

Unknown: 00:26:17

be with who this is. So you have to keep putting on this act in

Unknown: 00:26:22

order to get the attention and the engagement that you've

Unknown: 00:26:26

always wanted. Totally understanding that that's not

Unknown: 00:26:29

you. Yeah. And the more I did that, the more and more

Unknown: 00:26:35

disconnected I became. So it's all I'd say, is I take a little

Unknown: 00:26:39

Winston and say, You wait right here, I'll be back. And then you

Unknown: 00:26:44

just keep walking, and totally forget, because you got

Unknown: 00:26:48

distracted as to how to get back there.

Anita Adams: 00:26:52

That's so interesting. Again, very

Anita Adams: 00:26:54

relatable, I'm trying to live up to expectations of society to I

Anita Adams: 00:27:03

think is, you know, is a big pressure on a lot of us. And so

Anita Adams: 00:27:10

we feel we have to be a certain way. And we but we buy into it.

Anita Adams: 00:27:15

And I believe we lose sight of in the process, I believe we

Anita Adams: 00:27:19

lose sight in what we really want and who we really are. And

Anita Adams: 00:27:23

that happened with me and just about ruin my marriage. So, you

Anita Adams: 00:27:29

know, fortunately, I I figured it out. I'll get into that story

Anita Adams: 00:27:33

right now another time, perhaps. But it's, it took a lot of

Anita Adams: 00:27:38

courage to look in at myself, to really look. It wasn't easy. It

Anita Adams: 00:27:45

wasn't easy. It took a lot of time, and a commitment to

Anita Adams: 00:27:52

understand who I am, what I want, and why it matters. And I

Anita Adams: 00:27:57

think those are the three important questions that we

Anita Adams: 00:27:59

always have to ask ourselves, who am I? What do I want? Why

Anita Adams: 00:28:02

does it matter?

Unknown: 00:28:03

Well, I will pose I will pose a question to your

Unknown: 00:28:07

listeners that my guide feather posed to me. I shared a story

Unknown: 00:28:12

about what I don't remember the exact story, but her reply was

Unknown: 00:28:23

why why do you want like, why do you want it? What is over there

Unknown: 00:28:27

that you want so bad?

Unknown: 00:28:30

That that you want so bad? What is it? What do I want? Why do I

Unknown: 00:28:37

want it so bad?

Unknown: 00:28:40

And I was at a loss because then as I'm processing that I'm very

Unknown: 00:28:46

much stuck in my head. Right? So the want is here, but the true

Unknown: 00:28:54

want is down here. And I it took me a while with her guidance to

Unknown: 00:29:00

understand that. What is it you want? Like what is it that you

Unknown: 00:29:03

want? Why do you want it so bad. And my, from where I come from,

Unknown: 00:29:11

if the want is from my mind, that's a that's an ego stroke.

Unknown: 00:29:16

But if the want if I really start paring down and peeling

Unknown: 00:29:20

away and looking at Northern White, it also does start this

Unknown: 00:29:23

resonance I feel from inside of me go okay, that's a true one.

Unknown: 00:29:29

Or a desire or a need or something to take me to the next

Unknown: 00:29:37

level. Or something that I meant to to learn from and to grow

Unknown: 00:29:42

from versus just a ego stroke, an ego stroke a thing or

Unknown: 00:29:47

something cool or material thing. I can manifest material

Unknown: 00:29:51

stuff all the time. I proven it to myself. And it's it's just

Unknown: 00:29:56

stuff and then at the end it's like yeah, And that was fine,

Unknown: 00:30:01

but didn't really meet up to what I thought it would be. And

Unknown: 00:30:04

then you drop it off you go. But if you can tune into identity at

Unknown: 00:30:12

a soul level want and you experience that. It those are

Unknown: 00:30:20

hard to shake.

Anita Adams: 00:30:21

Yeah, that's awesome. And Winston, I want to

Anita Adams: 00:30:24

I want to stop you there because I want to dive into that, what

Anita Adams: 00:30:27

is that process for you? How do you peel back the layers and

Anita Adams: 00:30:32

really get to what it is you want and decipher between that

Anita Adams: 00:30:37

what the ego wants and what what your heart is calling for you to

Unknown: 00:30:44

your it's a, I call it onion theory or onion, their

Unknown: 00:30:49

audio, but go back the layers, they're all different iterations

Unknown: 00:30:53

of it. But simply put, you can do it by yourself with a piece

Unknown: 00:30:57

of paper with a pad or I actually find it a lot better if

Unknown: 00:31:01

you do it with someone. The reason is, when you do it by

Unknown: 00:31:06

yourself, you know, the your the dysfunctional stories and ego

Unknown: 00:31:10

and all that can prevent you from writing down what you

Unknown: 00:31:13

really want to write down. But it's not if you have to say to

Unknown: 00:31:16

someone and you feel the resistance, then you can go

Unknown: 00:31:20

okay, I that. That's resistance. So the process is write down.

Unknown: 00:31:27

White, you know, what is it you want? Or just whatever the

Unknown: 00:31:31

statement is like, I want to go to Cancun, for example. And then

Unknown: 00:31:36

yes, yourself why? And you have to write down 1010 answers. And

Unknown: 00:31:40

you take those 10 answers you throw, you throw it away. And he

Unknown: 00:31:43

asked, and you have to write 10 more. And all the answers have

Unknown: 00:31:46

to be different from the previous one. And as you, you

Unknown: 00:31:51

keep going until you feel and you will feel. For me, it's like

Unknown: 00:31:56

this, this bubble that comes out that that doesn't want to share

Unknown: 00:32:00

what it is. And then that's when you know you're getting really

Unknown: 00:32:03

close to the truth. And when you are able to punch through that.

Unknown: 00:32:07

When you finally start feeling the resistance, you know, you're

Unknown: 00:32:10

getting closer to the true reason as to why you want what

Unknown: 00:32:15

that is. And when you can get to the truth of that. You'd be

Unknown: 00:32:22

cancer free. Therefore for me, I actually find how simple that

Unknown: 00:32:28

request is. But it's masked in so much guilt and shame from

Unknown: 00:32:35

from the trauma, that it's almost like this little boy. And

Unknown: 00:32:38

all he wants like girls, I just want to go play on the beach.

Unknown: 00:32:42

It's all we want to do. I just want to play on the beach. But

Unknown: 00:32:44

there's so much guilt and shame from conditioning wrapped around

Unknown: 00:32:48

that. That it's like no, I want to go to I want to go to Cancun,

Unknown: 00:32:52

so I can go and snorkel and party and play beach volleyball

Unknown: 00:32:56

and all that stuff. So the root answer is all it wants to do is

Unknown: 00:33:00

just to go and walk on the beach and play in the water. Like you

Unknown: 00:33:07

can see how this is the light. And this is the story that we

Unknown: 00:33:10

made up to wrap all these layers around this very simple request,

Unknown: 00:33:18

want that we won't have it like as a child. But then we were

Unknown: 00:33:23

told you can't have it. You can't have it. You're not until

Unknown: 00:33:26

you passionate, right? You can't have it, you can't do it, you're

Unknown: 00:33:29

not good enough. We don't like whatever it is. It's just layers

Unknown: 00:33:31

upon layers. So now we have this grandiose want for a really

Unknown: 00:33:37

simple request. And when we can get down to that level, we can

Unknown: 00:33:40

say, I can say, Wow, what, and this is from Curiosity kicks in.

Unknown: 00:33:48

What else do I want? That's that simple. Like, I want to go have

Unknown: 00:33:54

an ice cream cone. Oh, I gotta go go out and just get trashed.

Unknown: 00:33:57

And then order ice cream for dessert. This is what I truly

Unknown: 00:34:02

wanted. And when you can, when you can start. And it's scary

Unknown: 00:34:07

work. I'm not saying it's simple at all. Because you might find

Unknown: 00:34:10

yourself and think that this is it. And then you could actually

Unknown: 00:34:14

keep going further and further down until you feel that feel it

Unknown: 00:34:18

when you can access that want. Like whatever that desire is.

Unknown: 00:34:24

It's free. Yeah, because it's, it's, it's true. And that's what

Unknown: 00:34:29

I had to go through.

Anita Adams: 00:34:32

And is that something that you you practice?

Anita Adams: 00:34:37

Constantly like it's not like a one and done. It's like a

Anita Adams: 00:34:40

continuous journey of tapping into and trying to figure out

Anita Adams: 00:34:44

what it is that you want.

Unknown: 00:34:45

I wish I could say I was this had a perfect track

Unknown: 00:34:49

record but I probably say i i am successful. At this point 30% of

Unknown: 00:34:56

the time. I'm not even going to make it up that I don't either.

Unknown: 00:35:00

constantly fall back into the conditioning it because I didn't

Unknown: 00:35:04

understand how strong the conditioning is where we've been

Unknown: 00:35:08

facing the conditioning our entire lives. Yeah. So for us to

Unknown: 00:35:11

go up and I've, I've, I've done the work and the conditioning

Unknown: 00:35:16

for me is this Hey guys brutal guard that wants to that is

Unknown: 00:35:23

preventing you from getting another side. So you walk up and

Unknown: 00:35:25

it's a slippery magic King Kong Sydney just swatting you, and it

Unknown: 00:35:30

hurts and wants you to watch it submit and want you to conform.

Unknown: 00:35:34

And then you go back up and you try again it smashes you. You

Unknown: 00:35:40

have to continually pick yourself up. It's like why do I

Unknown: 00:35:43

want this right? Well, I want to get to the other side. I want to

Unknown: 00:35:45

get the other side. And when you do, it's rewarding. But you

Anita Adams: 00:35:50

know that there's there's greatness there. Right?

Anita Adams: 00:35:52

There's greatness within you. And that that those little

Anita Adams: 00:35:54

voices that you hear those personalities that are saying

Anita Adams: 00:35:58

that to you, Winston, you're you're awesome. And they want

Anita Adams: 00:36:02

you to to push past that prison, right?

Unknown: 00:36:06

The guard just comes wrestling? Who the hell do you

Unknown: 00:36:07

think you are Smash, go back there, and then it kicks you

Unknown: 00:36:10

back in then picks you up and starts beating? It's like, do

Unknown: 00:36:13

you want to go there? Who do you think you are? So it's beat? We

Unknown: 00:36:16

start beating on ourselves?

Anita Adams: 00:36:17

Yeah, totally. We're the we're that guard.

Anita Adams: 00:36:20

Yeah. But as you

Unknown: 00:36:22

as you get past once, and the key is once you get past

Unknown: 00:36:26

once, you know it's possible. And that's all you need to know

Unknown: 00:36:32

that it's possible. I think I did it once I can do it a yet.

Unknown: 00:36:36

Second time, you might be even more punishing with it. But then

Unknown: 00:36:39

you have that internal belief that you go, I've done it. I've

Unknown: 00:36:43

done it once I know it's possible, I can do it again. And

Unknown: 00:36:46

then we do it again. That the power that the guard has

Unknown: 00:36:51

diminishes doesn't mean that it's any easier. It just means

Unknown: 00:36:54

that now that you've done it a few times, you know that it's

Unknown: 00:36:58

possible, and then you have the perseverance to continue.

Anita Adams: 00:37:02

It gives you the confidence that you can you've

Anita Adams: 00:37:04

done it before. It's like you've learned that you can do it. So

Anita Adams: 00:37:08

you by learning, you can then go and do it again. Yeah, and it

Anita Adams: 00:37:12

does, I think it does get a little easier. I think

Unknown: 00:37:15

it does. Like you can say okay, the first 10 steps is

Unknown: 00:37:18

sneak past. Past it, like playing a video game. It's like

Unknown: 00:37:22

you get the you get the emotions down. And then you can bypass

Unknown: 00:37:25

most of the first steps because they're always the same. It's

Unknown: 00:37:30

the ladder steps. As you get closer and closer. It gets it

Unknown: 00:37:37

gets more subtle and devious. Because they go. Winston's

Unknown: 00:37:41

coming again, here we go. And what it's what little what

Unknown: 00:37:46

movies, is he going to try this time. And that's and that's the

Unknown: 00:37:51

work to start undoing the conditioning. And when we I

Unknown: 00:37:56

don't know if we can ever truly undo all of it. But if you undo

Unknown: 00:38:00

it to an up to a low enough point, then you can just you can

Unknown: 00:38:04

bypass it, but it still always be there. Yeah, I

Anita Adams: 00:38:08

think you're right, I think it's still will always

Anita Adams: 00:38:10

be there. I think also it's a big key is recognizing what is

Anita Adams: 00:38:17

happening, you know, like if I can identify that oh yeah,

Anita Adams: 00:38:22

that's just my fear, fear fear of failure, fear of humiliation

Anita Adams: 00:38:28

or rejection or whatever it is, like I've been here before and

Anita Adams: 00:38:32

the way through it is just to keep pushing myself keep on this

Anita Adams: 00:38:38

track and and believe in myself. And so my process Winston is I

Anita Adams: 00:38:43

do I go for walks in the forest. And I have these conversations

Anita Adams: 00:38:46

with God the universe and and put it out there and I basically

Anita Adams: 00:38:50

am talking to myself and convincing myself that yes, I

Anita Adams: 00:38:53

can do this, I can do this. And that really helps me take the

Anita Adams: 00:38:58

next step. You know, like just for this podcast, for instance,

Anita Adams: 00:39:02

it's taken me a year to actually do it because it was I was

Anita Adams: 00:39:06

initially really afraid to put myself out there and talk about

Anita Adams: 00:39:10

things like God and the universe and my my Achilles heel of

Anita Adams: 00:39:15

feeling like I'm not smart enough like that. Those are hard

Anita Adams: 00:39:19

things for me to talk about yet I knew these. This was mine to

Anita Adams: 00:39:23

do and I needed to find the confidence and the courage to do

Anita Adams: 00:39:27

it. It took me a year. You're and here we are. So and it's

Anita Adams: 00:39:34

this is part of my journey. And it's I like to call it the

Anita Adams: 00:39:38

joyful journey because the the step every step I take is

Anita Adams: 00:39:43

getting me closer to experiencing more and more joy

Anita Adams: 00:39:47

and I feel like I am living a really joyful life. It's because

Anita Adams: 00:39:50

I'm taking action towards conquering my fears or dressing

Anita Adams: 00:39:54

my fears. And I like the word you use the phrase you use

Anita Adams: 00:39:57

embracing the dark I think we do have to embrace it, we all have

Anita Adams: 00:40:02

it, we have to face it and embrace it. And so I understand

Anita Adams: 00:40:08

it,

Unknown: 00:40:08

the embracing part, the story that goes behind it. So it

Unknown: 00:40:12

was that day. I said didn't want to die. My lifestyle was, you

Unknown: 00:40:17

know, people say it's like, it's like you're going down in

Unknown: 00:40:22

flames. With the plane type thing. And yeah, I was, it was

Unknown: 00:40:30

like a meteor coming coming down. I was I was, I was

Unknown: 00:40:37

escaping so hard. That that's all that's all I wanted to do,

Unknown: 00:40:44

because I didn't, just like I knew the monsters were coming.

Unknown: 00:40:49

Not understanding that. What have been shown is like that,

Unknown: 00:40:57

it's like that dog that's chasing you thinking that it's

Unknown: 00:40:59

going to eat you, when all the dog wants to do is they just

Unknown: 00:41:02

want to say hi. But where do they go, Oh, my God, this dog

Unknown: 00:41:05

chasing after they were running or running and running to a

Unknown: 00:41:08

point where we're running for so long. We don't even want to be

Unknown: 00:41:11

running anymore, we just know that we have to keep running.

Unknown: 00:41:15

And when I finally it took years, to go from that point of

Unknown: 00:41:22

I don't want to die to getting my my mind body and spirit

Unknown: 00:41:28

healthy. So it started with getting the body healthy. And

Unknown: 00:41:34

then as the bodies started getting healthy, and then I

Unknown: 00:41:36

started drinking the substances, then the the soul, the spirit

Unknown: 00:41:42

could heal, because it's just not being poisoned all the time,

Unknown: 00:41:47

the body's not being poisoned. I can, I can start healing that.

Unknown: 00:41:52

And when that started healing, all all these other things I

Unknown: 00:41:57

didn't even know about started happening where I started, I got

Unknown: 00:42:00

the feel. And as weird as that may sound to people, I've only

Unknown: 00:42:05

been able to feel a full range of emotions three years ago. So

Unknown: 00:42:11

prior to that I had very stunted emotional range. So that started

Unknown: 00:42:15

happening. And then when that started happening, I realized

Unknown: 00:42:20

like, there are things I've been missing out on. And that's that

Unknown: 00:42:23

the Land of Illusion I talk about when you're operating with

Unknown: 00:42:28

diminished capacities and filters all over the place that

Unknown: 00:42:32

we created. What we're taking in is not what's actually happening

Unknown: 00:42:36

out there, it's all we get to see and experience and feel.

Unknown: 00:42:41

missing out. So someone the filter started coming down and

Unknown: 00:42:47

the stories don't going away the spirit start healing. That's

Unknown: 00:42:52

when the I caught the, the signal to noise ratio, that's

Unknown: 00:42:56

when the the whispers start getting louder and the noise

Unknown: 00:42:59

starts going down. It's like, hey, I can I can hear you. Oh,

Unknown: 00:43:04

you you want me to always say, oh, turn left instead of right.

Unknown: 00:43:08

Why? Okay, you know what you said turn left, turn left. And

Unknown: 00:43:11

then it's like, Oh, I've missed all that traffic over there.

Unknown: 00:43:13

Thank thanks for the tip. I'm sure many of you experienced

Unknown: 00:43:18

that. I just like simple little nudges. But where did the nudge

Unknown: 00:43:22

come from? And if you follow the nudges, and again, people, your

Unknown: 00:43:29

listeners might have had what I described like the perfect day,

Unknown: 00:43:32

the only call the perfect day where everything just unfolded

Unknown: 00:43:36

beautifully. When you're happy and things are happening. And

Unknown: 00:43:41

you follow the guidance and say do this, do this, do this. Just

Unknown: 00:43:45

the momentum just builds and then at the end of the day, it's

Unknown: 00:43:47

like wow, that was like the best day ever. That's because you're

Unknown: 00:43:51

just following the guidance. Your soul Your heart just goes.

Unknown: 00:43:55

Let's do this. Let's do this. And you're okay. Okay, okay. And

Unknown: 00:43:59

away you go. And it's supposed to be that easy. We're taught

Unknown: 00:44:04

that it's not supposed to be that easy. I go when it is that

Unknown: 00:44:06

easy. It's like why don't I live like this all the time? And I'm

Unknown: 00:44:11

not gonna say it is difficult. I still working on getting to that

Unknown: 00:44:15

state where I am following the guidance more than I'm following

Unknown: 00:44:23

my myself.

Anita Adams: 00:44:26

trusting Him that place that we trust it and

Anita Adams: 00:44:29

listen to it all the time.

Unknown: 00:44:31

All the time. Yeah.

Anita Adams: 00:44:32

I love them. Follow the nudges. I might still that

Anita Adams: 00:44:37

follow the nudges. I love that a lot. I want to ask you, how do

Anita Adams: 00:44:42

you define spirit? What is that

Unknown: 00:44:45

spirit? For me? I define it as you watch men and

Unknown: 00:44:50

block. Yeah. Okay, you know that that scene where the little

Unknown: 00:44:54

alien is inside the head, operating the robot. So spirit

Unknown: 00:44:59

is operator and spirit resides in this meatsuit and and makes

Unknown: 00:45:07

spirit its spirit soul is what's in the meatsuit so it's living

Unknown: 00:45:12

in here and that's how that's how I visualize it so it's a it

Unknown: 00:45:22

makes everything work and it's experiencing everything through

Unknown: 00:45:26

it's inside you so it can't actually experience what's going

Unknown: 00:45:30

on it's it's interpreting everything through our eyes or

Unknown: 00:45:33

senses and everything and then all of the other facets are

Unknown: 00:45:41

guiding it

Anita Adams: 00:45:44

all the other facets are guiding it what are

Anita Adams: 00:45:46

the other facets

Unknown: 00:45:47

don't little instance or all the other voices are

Unknown: 00:45:51

actually going if you want to go I tried to explain this to a

Unknown: 00:45:56

younger class so it made sense April Can you see people in

Unknown: 00:45:59

spaceships so they get you know the communication systems where

Unknown: 00:46:02

they don't always talking to them, but they hear stuff? They

Unknown: 00:46:05

Oh, yeah. Just like that. It's like you're by yourself. You

Unknown: 00:46:10

understand? I say God, hey, like real? Hey, Winston, how you

Unknown: 00:46:13

doing? You don't know what like you think that's someone back at

Unknown: 00:46:18

the base station. radioing in okay, why do you listen to that?

Unknown: 00:46:24

Why is the pilot listening to that? Why are they listening to

Unknown: 00:46:28

whatever's coming in, they can choose to tune into it or not.

Unknown: 00:46:33

So again, it's where are these voices coming from? So that's,

Unknown: 00:46:36

that's why I say it's so all these voices that I have now

Unknown: 00:46:39

clearly identified, and I'm sure that are more helping guide

Unknown: 00:46:45

spirit forward.

Anita Adams: 00:46:48

It's really interesting. That's really, uh,

Anita Adams: 00:46:51

I'm fascinated, fascinated by you, and your stories and, and

Anita Adams: 00:46:57

your definitions. And I feel like I've picked up some really

Anita Adams: 00:47:00

great insights and things that I want to try as well. I'm, I like

Anita Adams: 00:47:07

to think of spirit as my highest self as well, you know, it's a,

Anita Adams: 00:47:13

learning how to listen to that highest self, I believe that if

Anita Adams: 00:47:18

the world learned how to tap into and listen to that highest

Anita Adams: 00:47:23

self, oh my god, we'd be in such a better place

Unknown: 00:47:27

to how I have had similar conversation with each

Unknown: 00:47:31

other. And it took me a while to wrap my brain around this one.

Unknown: 00:47:37

Or she said, I am you and you are me. And we are the same

Unknown: 00:47:41

thing. All of us, all of us are the same claim. And each of us

Unknown: 00:47:47

are having a unique experience. So we can learn.

Anita Adams: 00:47:54

I believe that 100%

Unknown: 00:47:56

Yeah. So if, if that is the case, then to reframe what

Unknown: 00:48:03

you said spirit isn't up there like spirit, we are all the

Unknown: 00:48:07

same. Yeah. So we are we are eager to tap into

Anita Adams: 00:48:11

that and listen to it, we would be in such a better

Anita Adams: 00:48:15

place. I want to this is tied in to this something that I've

Anita Adams: 00:48:21

started practicing with this idea that we are all one going

Anita Adams: 00:48:27

back to you and sending your students out into the street to

Anita Adams: 00:48:31

connect with homeless people. I've started to imagine myself

Anita Adams: 00:48:38

as I am, I am that man. I am that woman sitting on the

Anita Adams: 00:48:46

corner. And with her guitar case and her copper pan for

Anita Adams: 00:48:57

donations, I am the man who's walking on the street talking to

Anita Adams: 00:49:04

himself or or maybe his higher self and in doing this exercise

Anita Adams: 00:49:12

no tremendous compassion for these individuals as whereas

Anita Adams: 00:49:18

before I would go across the street and walk you know try to

Anita Adams: 00:49:22

avoid them. And now I'm I'm imagining myself that I am them

Anita Adams: 00:49:27

I am I am you I am that it just puts you in a different place of

Anita Adams: 00:49:39

connecting with with who you are, and I believe in it makes

Anita Adams: 00:49:46

you helps you really feel the compassion that we need to feel

Anita Adams: 00:49:52

in this world. It's an interesting exercise try.

Unknown: 00:49:57

I I've learned that from my dog My dog doesn't have

Unknown: 00:50:05

to have judgment. I, I've shared the story another time where I

Unknown: 00:50:08

learned from my dog. It was one of walking her and I heard often

Unknown: 00:50:17

sides like that. That's a beautiful dog. And I looked

Unknown: 00:50:20

over, and it was a homeless person. And my dog sitting there

Unknown: 00:50:25

looking at the pigeon sticking around, and then she trotted

Unknown: 00:50:30

over there. And I remember when I tell told the story, the first

Unknown: 00:50:35

time I said, Yeah, and I let her engage them when I let her

Unknown: 00:50:41

engage. Hmm. Why? Why did I not say that about the guy with the

Unknown: 00:50:47

suit? Or the pretty lady? Why did I choose to say I let her

Unknown: 00:50:50

engage with the homeless person? She didn't choose GG engages

Unknown: 00:50:57

everybody. And then I picked up on my own judgment and

Unknown: 00:51:03

conditioning on that. That's like, yeah, why? Why did I say

Unknown: 00:51:07

that? It's okay to engage with these people. But these people.

Unknown: 00:51:12

And I really had to sit with that one. And so now when we go

Unknown: 00:51:16

for a walk, and she's looking at someone, and I'll stop, look at

Unknown: 00:51:20

them, what do you see that like, okay, let's have a look, that

Unknown: 00:51:22

person tried to figure it out. And I realized that when I walk

Unknown: 00:51:29

with her, if we just take a moment to just be in the space

Unknown: 00:51:37

that we're walking in, there's so much happening and not

Unknown: 00:51:42

happening when I say not happening, and so many people

Unknown: 00:51:44

that are disconnected. Here's a person, they're all on their

Unknown: 00:51:48

device, crossing the street, or listening to music, and there's

Unknown: 00:51:51

cars going by, it's like you are just so I call it siloed your

Unknown: 00:51:56

own own little silo, you're totally oblivious to anything

Unknown: 00:51:59

that's going on. And that's that social disconnection that I'm

Unknown: 00:52:02

talking about. Or people are I'm watch people rushing? are you

Unknown: 00:52:07

rushing off to? Why? Why are you in such a hurry? Or, listen, I

Unknown: 00:52:14

just happened to listen to a conversation I go, it's not

Unknown: 00:52:17

really conversation that's like verbal ping pong going over

Unknown: 00:52:21

there. And looking at the space, I mean, as a whole. And

Unknown: 00:52:30

wondering what I could do to shift this. Not to change it,

Unknown: 00:52:40

you know, just to shift it and not to go in there and say, I

Unknown: 00:52:43

didn't interrupt people in their conversations at all, you should

Unknown: 00:52:46

guys do this. Like, what? What could I do to shift this? What

Unknown: 00:52:51

could I do to improve connection. And then,

Unknown: 00:52:57

realization was about to create the spaces to introduce in

Unknown: 00:53:01

introducing how people practice, I didn't say teach, practice,

Anita Adams: 00:53:07

practice, and hence voice story was born. Awesome.

Anita Adams: 00:53:13

You are somebody who I believe is operating from your highest

Anita Adams: 00:53:19

self. And you are a leader who wants to make a difference in

Anita Adams: 00:53:24

the world that you want to have impact. And I am really honored

Anita Adams: 00:53:29

to know you. And to have this time with you today. Winston,

Anita Adams: 00:53:33

thank you so much for sharing a piece of your story with us

Anita Adams: 00:53:37

today and giving me some more ways to look at things and and

Anita Adams: 00:53:42

think about things. So thank you so much. I'm so I'm so grateful

Anita Adams: 00:53:46

for you.

Unknown: 00:53:47

Well, you're welcome. And as I said, there's there's a

Unknown: 00:53:51

lot and I'm sure we covered a whole gamut of topics. And if

Unknown: 00:53:58

your, your listeners have any questions, feel free to email or

Unknown: 00:54:04

reach out to me at winston@voicestream.ca I'd be

Unknown: 00:54:06

happy to engage and answer any thoughts or comments or

Unknown: 00:54:12

questions or just want to connect in the experience? What?

Unknown: 00:54:15

What can come out of that? Because, as I said, in order to

Unknown: 00:54:21

or to create the change, we have to be we have to initiate it

Unknown: 00:54:24

ourselves.

Anita Adams: 00:54:25

100% Yeah. And when we come together apart so one of

Anita Adams: 00:54:29

the reasons why I really wanted to start this podcast was to

Anita Adams: 00:54:33

heighten the collective consciousness and it's through

Anita Adams: 00:54:35

conversations like this. It's through connecting with other

Anita Adams: 00:54:39

people that want something more for our world and want to come

Anita Adams: 00:54:44

from a place of their highest self. And when we connect with

Anita Adams: 00:54:49

others that are doing that we we are we're stronger together,

Anita Adams: 00:54:54

which simply stronger together and we make a bigger impact. So

Anita Adams: 00:54:58

with anything that was said Today in the show, and resonates

Anita Adams: 00:55:02

with you please do reach out to Winston or myself. We will put

Anita Adams: 00:55:06

Winston's contact information in the story notes. So yeah, please

Anita Adams: 00:55:11

do even just reach out and say hello. And if you'd like this,

Anita Adams: 00:55:14

the show, please, please leave a review for us. It all helps.

Anita Adams: 00:55:19

Alright. And I think with that, Winston, we'll sign off. That's

Anita Adams: 00:55:25

all right. Yeah. Thanks, everybody. Thank you for joining

Anita Adams: 00:55:29

us today on the joyful journey podcast. If anything resonated

Anita Adams: 00:55:33

with you, please visit our website at joyful inspired

Anita Adams: 00:55:37

living.com Sign up to receive a free download of our three

Anita Adams: 00:55:41

guiding principles to inner wisdom and become a member of

Anita Adams: 00:55:45

the joyful inspired living community. For a deeper

Anita Adams: 00:55:48

spiritual dive, check out our retreats we offer both in person

Anita Adams: 00:55:52

retreats on beautiful Bowen Island in British Columbia, as

Anita Adams: 00:55:56

well as online retreats that you can do from the comfort of your

Anita Adams: 00:56:00

own home. And finally, if you liked our show, please leave a

Anita Adams: 00:56:03

review so more people can find it and learn how to access their

Anita Adams: 00:56:07

highest self and together will raise the collective